The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/01/08
I like the writing style you chose here, with the choppy sentences and repetitive phrases. It works for this piece.
02/02/08
This is a different writing style. Very good. You kept us wanting to know more. Keep on writing.
Laury
I liked the sense of tension this writing style invoked. It really expressed the underlying animosity between.... everybody!
02/05/08
The style is different, but it works. The story moved and unfolded sytematic with your style. Red Ink: when you write for the challenge, you shouldn't use any words of that are in the topic, such as glitter.
02/05/08
Good example of epic poetry. The entire Iliad and Oddessey are written this way.
02/05/08
The format of this piece is positively poetic. I'm not sure if using the actual word "glitter" will count against you in topic points or not, but it fit's the mood well and was a great choice. At first I thought "the Others" were angels, I like that word choice too. ("Lost" fan :)). Congratulations on your first entry - well done. :) Cat
02/05/08
Very well done. I like the parts where she tells herself something, trying to convience herself when she knows the Others are right. Insightful, well-written entry.
02/05/08
A great first entry! I like the way you repeat the first line at the end, and the way you described what her "desire" gained her through her choices.
02/11/08
I agree with the others, this was an interesting writing style. It took me by surprise, but it definitely worked. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Nicely written story. You've shown that sometimes what we desire, what we chase after, isn't always what it seems. I like the way you write. Keep it up.
This poem leaves quite an impression on the reader. Good job.
I really was taken by this article of yours. You held my interest right to the last moment. Well done.
Blessings, Norms