The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/02/08
Very good writing. I actually feel sorry for this fictional man! Good job staying on topic! Keep on writing!
Laury
I don't think you'll be in beginners very long.. this was really well done! Excellent writing.
02/02/08
Superb, and I like that you didn't wrap it all up prettily at the end.
Excellent! I'm having a hard time believing that you're a beginner. Your words are very descriptive and I felt the man's unhappiness. I would sugest that you separate your dialog next time. There should be a space between each line of speech. Other than that, this was perfect. See you in level 2.
Good writing ~ you were able to express this brief moment very well. I could feel those next 15 months looming... Will he make it?!?
02/05/08
Very good. As I read it through, I saw a couple tiny things like a missed comma or something, but when I finished, I forgot where they were. Which means the story took over and the "editor" got lost in it and the red pen dangled useless in her hand.
02/05/08
Great job. You really pulled me into the thoughts of this man - and to think, his 2 years is just beginning. Great descriptive writing. Nothing red inky jumped out at me at all.
02/06/08
Very intense. You really captured the emotions of the MC, and made me feel with him. You nailed the topic, too. :) Cat
02/06/08
Perfect for the topic and good, descriptive writing. I fully engaged in the life of this MC as you put me right into his thoughts.