The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 949 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
01/20/08
I liked how you set the MC in the mall...good setting.
It was interesting how you intermingled her writing with what she saw around her.
Good writing.
01/20/08
Oh, I almost forgot to say. I loved the line...
"like an Acme anvil falling from the sky"
(smile)
01/21/08
This piece kept me interested to the end, and I liked the authentic tone of the story. Those moments that the Lord freezes and flashes before us are His teachable moments to us. Thank you for reminding me to capture them.
01/22/08
You did a good job with the child's conversation. This story teaches a principle we should all learn.
01/22/08
I love the way you seamlessly went back and forth from her thoughts to what she was writing. Very well done. The only red ink I have is the next to the last line...."doesn't" should have been "didn't". Other than that, this is great!
01/22/08
Oh, I love the way you framed the devotional in a person's story that also illustrated the point! Wow!
I love the way you included all the trappings of 'prosperity' (cell phone, double dip chocolate peanuts, water, laptop, and of course….. coffee) The mother/child scene was a nice touch to help the MC lose her writer's block and achieve the desired outcome she had been hoping for with her devotional... contentment in a child of God.
01/22/08
Great title. I like the way you go back and forth between the story and the devotional and weave in many examples of the virtue of contentment. Then you cap it off with a perfect scripture verse.

My only red ink is that I think you're supposed to spell out numbers when it's less than 10. Something to look up.
01/22/08
Fabulous job of mingling the devotion she was writing with what she was doing and seeing. Absolutely love the ending, well, ok, the whole thing. Red Ink: Agree with the red ink about the number being written out, but my choice would have been "doesn't" in the 2nd to last line. Nothing else from me. :) Love, Cat
I enjoyed this multi-layered story.
And here's another vote for "doesn't".
01/23/08
I really, really liked this format. Very enjoyable to read -- with two lessons in one. Very good writing, and great job with the topic.
01/23/08
You did an excellent job weaving this story and devotional. (no writer's block for you :) ) I enjoyed this very much. Thanks.
01/24/08
I looked you up to see what your writing is like after not placing, and found a really good writer! I don't think that this did not place because of any lack on your part, I think that it's just that teaching type articles don't generally do as well unless they are extremely unique.
01/25/08
This is a beautifully written devotional inside a great story. The 5th paragraph particularly packs a lot of punch - I thought.:)