The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/15/07
I can hear a youth pastor telling his group this story. I might have used a more modern translation or paraphrase for the verses to go with the "hip" voice you wrote in, and I got lost in the scholarly ending. I like what you did with the topic tho! Keep writing! Blessings, Cat.
12/16/07
Enjoyed the voice of this - and I agree that a more modern translation might have fit that voice a bit better - but a great read. Keep writing!
12/16/07
I like your approach in the first 2/3rds of this--fun voice. Just be sure to stay in either past or present tense, and not to switch back and forth between them.

This was creative and unique.
12/18/07
INteresting! It has a story-teller feel to it.
I like how you tied "Avram" being called out to the Christians being called out.
Good writing.