The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
The story itself was very good. Check out the message boards for tips on submitting articles. Good job of showing the characters feelings. Keep writing for Him.
Your story was good. You had a wonderful message. My only suggestion for improvement would be to find a challenge buddy to help with punctuation and grammer. You can go to the boards to find one. You show great potential, so keep writing!
A very good-natured entry that put a smile on my face.

Find an editing buddy who can help you to review conventions of punctuation. Here's a quick tip--there should be a space after commas and periods. Just that small correction will go a long way to improving this "jolly" story!
Jolly good story.
You described the scene very well.
Quotes begin with capitals and need ending punctuations.
Keep writing.