The Official Writing Challenge
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Great story...beautiful descriptions...You will need to; reformat manually, sentance and paragraph structure after you paste onto the FW site. good job...welcome aboard...
12/06/07
A good start but I wanted you to go a bit deeper into your experience and possibly evaluate it a bit more.

Breaking up the paragraphs with a blank line would have made the prose more readable.
12/10/07
I like the thoughts you shared. This is a good description of a newcomer's first experience at a welcoming group.

There were a few editing issues -- mostly with additional commas needed. And I agree, if you break up the paragraphs with a space in-between, it will make your entry easier to read.

The voice is very friendly and warm -- like a person who would be nice to meet. Good job.
This was a good start, Nicole. I love what happened in the small group, but we needed to be shown it, by some conversation maybe. This was a neat group of believers for sure.

*I also wanted to tell you thank you for the comments you made on my church story and to let you know it was ALL true. I am sorry the seminary aspect distracted you from the message I wanted to portray.

You need to know, the church was used to help me tremendously and my marriage DID NOT end in divorce. My husband and I dealt with our sin issues and the Lord completely healed our marriage from where we were 9 years ago.

Sadly, many couples during their seminary days do face the door of divorce and many walk through it, because life gives them what they don't expect and they get disillusioned by life, the Lord, and one another for a time.

It was the church that helped us through that and to see healing in our marriage. I appreciate your comments and concern and just wanted you to know the story was not over at that point, but was trying to emphasis the hope in what the church (believers) could do when one has it in their life no matter how it ends.