The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/13/07
What an interesting "angel" angle.
If you make a new paragraph each time a person speaks, it will make it a little easier to read. This has a very thought provoking message.
11/13/07
This is sweet. Great job!
11/13/07
Wouldn't it be a wonderful thing if everyone would learn the simple truth you have offered! I enjoyed reading your story.
Nice story with good Biblical teachings. Paragraphing every time the action/idea/character changed would help the asthetics of the passage and assist the reader to stay focused on content.
11/14/07
Very telling that the little girl didn't recognize Jesus at first. He was a stranger.

Neat story with a good message and I like the way you told it.