The Official Writing Challenge
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Has a mix of both a Micky Spilaine (sp) narrative and the Biblical Prodigal Son (Daughter). If more run-a-ways would only realize before it is too late, the love they abandoned they would be just as blessed as your MC. This should reach out and touch many hurting, confused souls.
09/14/07
Nice modern telling of the prodigal son.

Be careful with your tenses--a minor issue in an otherwise beautifully written parable.
Great retelling of the PS story. I liked your version so much that I wondered how you would portray the son that stayed home and was jealous of his brother's homecoming. It wasn't necessary here...just made me curious.
09/17/07
You really put a modern voice on this familiar story and gave us a new angle to view the characters involved. Good writing!
Very well written. I love Biblical fiction and the modern retelling of it was great.
I felt like I was walking with her through her experience. It was almost like we were having a conversation about life and she was telling me about her life. I had a little difficulty accessing the story at first because of the detail in the beginning ("I wake up stiff and cold, damp air seeping through my clothes. The odor permeating the air only adds to my misery").

Everything else makes it seem like the MC is talking to me (the reader). This perspective has the power to transform teens and adults (in understanding). Good work!
09/18/07
Excellent retelling of a familiar story in a modern context. Caught a few tense shifts, and a couple punctuation errors - but that is minor. This was VERY good.
09/21/07
Good article. I felt very depressed by her state and very relieved when she finally came home. Hey, we've all been there, haven't we?