The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Your title drew me in and then more than fulfilled its promise. What an absolutely wonderful piece - so creative and I loved, loved, loved, the closing poem. I think you will place first this time, and you will desreve it.
I loved this story and the poem of the cicada, as well as its use of humor. I can see this fitting very well in a science lesson in mid or upper elementary grades. There are so many interesting details about the cicada woven into the story. About three or four summers ago they swarmed in our area. They surely are ugly and loud. I would have liked to know as much about them then as I do from your story! Well done!
What a unique way to bring a science lesson. Enjoy and learn at the same time.
Beautiful, informative, interesting story. I printed it to show my grandkids. They love science. I love the Cicada song at the end. Should interest kids of all ages. A few illustrations and you'll have a great childrens book. It doesn't count... but you have my vote...dave
Excellent - great title, too! Such great learning in here, in a wonderfully entertaining tale.
I like this a lot (except for the fact that I'm bug-phobic...) The best thing about it is its language--it doesn't talk down to the children, and for those who are interested in bugs, this is also an exemplar of lovely writing.
I loved this story - great job!!
It just goes to show that even an adult can learn something from a children's story. Thanks! I always enjoyed the locust "buzz" on a summer evening!
I'm a Floridian, I can't resist a good cicada tale. Very interestingly written.
My son,who loves science,would love this story. It's educational but also told in a language kids can understand. Good job.
My grandson would love this. And yes, bug lovers would LOVE it!

the voice on this was perfect all the way through.

I don't like bugs - but this was really good.
Fantastic story - sure to please the kiddies! Great writing!
Well written, imaginative and informative. Aside from one or two minor syntactical stumbles that reading aloud might reveal I have one quibble. "No one sings base" your character says. That is absolutely true. Some humans, if no cicadas, sing bass, however. Spell check would never flag that error. Only careful rereading could catch it.
Overall, very good effort and certainly displays talent worthy of moving up the ladder.
Note by the author. I realize some minor boo boo's and would have caught them had I not been ready to nod-with only 10 hrs sleep over the course of 5 days.I can't believe I mis-spelled bass,Yikes and I use to win spelling bees,LOL.Thx all!
I love the name of your main character! You did a great job of both entertaining and informing in this piece. Keep up the good work. You won't be in beginners for long.