The Official Writing Challenge
BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN
INSTRUCTIONS
how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level
ENTRIES
submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.


TRUST JESUS TODAY

  • Share
  • how it works
  • Submit
Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Write something suitable for CHILDREN (05/31/07)
“Why doesn’t the sky fall in Daddy?” “Sorry dear what was that?” “Why doesn’t the sky fall in” “fall in where Hannah?” Hannah sighed “In Daddy in, into the ground” Boris thought quickly he had no clue how to explain, Hannah looked at him expectedly and he fell back into old habits and replied “Ah well that’s interesting! You see, the sky is like a big tent and God has angels holding up the sky you know like tent poles.” It was so much easier to get away with such fanciful explanation when Hannah was three now suddenly so many questions and Laura said it was time as responsible parents they answered each question as best they could, even saying they didn’t know if they well didn’t. That however would mean a trip indoors to the computer to discover the real answer and he was busy, the garden did not weed itself. Suddenly they were both distracted by the surprising appearance of the most beautiful bird, it was pure white and it hovered over them and as suddenly as it came, it went. Boris continued with the gardening and Hannah amused herself in the tree house, knowing she was safe after all the angels were holding up the sky. All was well in the Gordon household as the day slipped into night and Boris and Laura quietly sat reading. Laura almost jumped out of her skin when she heard the chilling screams coming from Hannah’s bedroom. The poor girl was inconsolable and just kept crying “It’s gone, it’s gone, Daddy it’s gone” Boris spoke to his dear daughter as softly as he could so that she wouldn’t be further alarmed and obviously asked “What’s gone?” “The sky Daddy the sky did the angels drop it, Daddy are the angels dead?” Boris put his head in his hands as Laura threw him a look that would melt ice cream. “Hannah the sky is still up, its just night time the sun has gone in that’s all” “In Daddy, in where” He could feel Laura’s eyes on him if ever he needed help he needed it now. He remembered the bird from the garden the pure white bird just hovering and he was reminded of the Holy Spirit he felt sorry now he had lied to his precious daughter but he didn’t mean any harm. He hugged Hannah tight and tucked her back in bed and asked Laura if he could borrow her bible. Even though he hadn’t read the bible since he was perhaps Hannah’s age he knew now what to tell his little girl about the sky. Laura’s heart raced with excitement and joy as she listened to her husband explain the miracle of creation to her little girl, she slipped away quietly to let father and daughter share this special moment. She wanted to spend a moment with her own Father thanking him for this little miracle happening in their home right now. She took a moment in the garden to look at the beautiful night sky and whispered quietly “Thank you God, I know this is am important day in our family although I’m not sure why” Suddenly she was distracted by the surprising appearance of the most beautiful bird, it was pure white and it hovered over her and as suddenly as it came, it went.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
This article has been read 1057 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Sharon Henderson
06/07/07
Beautiful story. Spacing would make it easier to read. Would make a great devotional piece.
Jacquelyn Horne
06/08/07
Good inspirational. It would read better if each person's quote was on a line of it's own. This was told with insight on how little ones react.
Janice Fitzpatrick
06/09/07
Very touching and sweetly told. Other than some punctuation this is very well done! I really like this. It captured my heart as I was drawn in and I love the ending. Bravo! Lord bless your insight and keep on writing. I thoroughly enjoyed this. Janice
David Butler
06/10/07
The title caught my attention (NOT because it was on top of the list!)
I've had to be corrected about spacing and punctuation, too, so I won't comment on that. :-)
Excellent story, with a very pertinent point made for us fathers - as well as appealing to ... older children?
Janna Kampen
06/12/07
Touching story, reminding us all to take the time to answer with thought our children's questions, and to answer them with God's answers. I wonder how many moments like that I've missed being too busy or too distracted by every day life.

Your story would be much easier to read if you started a new paragraph each time someone speaks. In the case of these cut and paste internet things - that means double space.
Deborah Cooke
06/21/07
GREAT STORY