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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Write in the SCIENCE FICTION genre (05/10/07)
FOLDED WINGS

The strobe light above my head flickered once than dimmed to a shadow.

“Why?” the white gowned figure murmured, “Do I have to put up with this planets attempt at sun in a box. I will have to rig up my own; this inferior lighting is keeping my wings pinned to this dismal correction unit.”

The light glowed once more. The white gowned figure simply reached up and spit into the hollow tube. The light now glowed clear and cast no shadows..

The table I am laying on is warm like a sandy beach baked to perfection

The figure never glances at me so I can see his face. He’s so very tall that his head almost bumps into the water spigots on the ceiling.

I am so confused. What planet am I on? How did I get here? I don’t know my name.

The figure is speaking. “It’s time, I know you’re confused, it won’t last long. Close your eyes for me so I can take care of you without scaring you.

His shoulders twitched like he wanted to fly away. I am so petrified. I’m closing my eyes to get some peace my brains on overload. The air around me is so warm, wait there is a breeze, like I am flying. I want to open my eyes but they won’t move. I can feel absolutely nothing. I think I’m drugged.

Wait I can open my eyes now! Wow! The stars are so amazing. I swear the moon just winked at me. The moon but wait the sky’s so bright.

Lying on the sand now, the figure above me is actually looking at me. His face is just layers of light, nothing firm or solid just masses of brightness. Above him his white wings are carrying him away.

As he rose pain started filling my body. Someone was beating on my back. The sand is gritty now and hard. I gasped choking as the ocean water erupted all over the figures in front of me. I could breathe.

“She’s going to be ok. She’s breathing now. The paramedics are here”. The swimmer picked up his surf board and walked away.

I can’t remember why I’m here. I was so warm and protected before. Now I’m cold and choking on my own vomit. I ache all over from the torments of saltwater and surfers with CPR training. I don’t want to be here.

The sun is hidden again; I see my mystery being his wings are unfolded and spread across the sky. “Live,” he whispered, “God has plans for you.”

Closing my eyes I see my sterile room with no shadows just light, I wish I was there. The paramedics slide me into the ambulance. The people just gaze like groupies. I want to ask where I have been but there is no light around any of them I’m sure they have no idea...
“Do you?’ “Sorry I’m going to close my eyes now. I just want to sleep.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Joanne Sher 
05/20/07
You've got some great descriptions in here. A little work on grammar would make this piece a bit easier to read. I was intrigued and interested from beginning to end. Keep writing!
Jacquelyn Horne
05/20/07
This story was good. The last line, however, was confusing to me, and the punctuation needs attention. But all else was well written.