The Official Writing Challenge
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Well written. Good job.
Don't know if the judges will think this fits the sci-fi topic, but I liked the imagery. It was a short piece but packed a lot into it. I think your second paragraph where you describe the soldier uniforms in such detail was words you could have used elsewhere to expand your story. As I was reading I kept wondering if there was a reason for us to know so much about the uniforms, but it didn't seem to add to the story. Your description of the beast was chillingly good. I especially liked the line about the eyes being like "cows without the whites." Kudos to you, keep writing, much promise here.