The Official Writing Challenge
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The fifth paragraph was my favorite, when you went off on a tangent. Really made me grin. I like your conversational tone here. Nice job.
This was really neat. I liked the flow and how you hooked me as the reader. P.S. if you don't mind, I'll share your secret.
I like the style of your story, very engaging. I kinda guessed the secret early on - someone already told me. :) I like how you twisted it around at the end and explained WHY you were treating it like a secret. Fabulous writing!