Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Shopping (03/01/07)
TITLE: "Shopper? Stop Her!"
By Frank Salerni
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Shopping is my wife’s way of getting even! Getting even for what you may ask?
Anything she wants!
Let me say first of all that I am just like the majority of men in the U.S.A. I’m not a shopper. I may not even go out of my way to walk to the next storefront in the local mall, even if I might save a buck or two.
If I need a pair of shoes I will ask myself all the questions necessary before I leave the driveway.
1. “What color do I want?”
2. “What material do I want for the type of shoes needed?”
3. “Do I want laces or Velcro?”
4. “How much money should I spend on them?”
When I walk into the shoe store all bets are off! As long as they have a size thirteen double “D” I’m out of there!
If the sales person asks if I want the receipt just say, “No thanks, I’ll wear them home. You can keep the old ones!”
My wife on the other hand would drive thirty miles in the snow with a flat tire in order to save ten cents! And if that’s not bad enough, she insists on taking me with her, because yesterday the dog tore up her laundry! How in the world is that my fault? She said, “Because, I should have known he would do it.”
Great, now I’m a dog clairvoyant!
Shopping is sheer torture for me! Wal-mart should be boycott by any self-respecting husband with the knowledge that wives can go brain-dead when it comes to shopper’s time limits. Honestly, I believe God never intended for man to endure clipping coupons.
And where is it written that a man must hold their pink purses, while standing in line with a competitors’ coupon, in order to get a deal on the family size box of “unmentionables!”
It used to be that my only hope was to drag my feet long enough to get a late start, and hope that the clock struck 10:00 pm for closing time… oh yeah, our local Wal-mart is now open 24/7. “Thanks.”
“Is their no Justice? Is their no relief? How many hours of humiliation can one man take sitting on that hard little bench outside the woman’s dressing room?”
Oh well, I guess I must continue to practice what I preach.
Die to self, esteem others greater that yourself, if you want to be great in God’s kingdom learn to be the servant of all, do unto others… Hey wait, that’s it! Next week is our anniversary!
“Honey, I’ve got a great idea! For our anniversary I’m going to buy us season tickets to the Chicago Bulls. Don’t worry; I’m gonna’ let you shop for all the paraphernalia you can buy me! I’d do that for you sweetie.”
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