The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
03/08/07
Very cute - good humor - nice voice throughout:) The only suggestion that I might give is to reduce the # of exclamation points and let the reader do the excitment themselves. Otherwise - I wouldn't change a thing.:) Nice work.
Sounds like a man! And that should make you feel good. Loved the ending.
03/08/07
Couldn't be said better (please don't let my wife read this). Suggest you read "A Husband's Duty" in the same category (beginners). Thanks for having the courage; who said this was humor anyway :) ?

God bless and keep writing.
03/10/07
You've written a good story, using humor and showing us a man's eye view of shopping. I lost the effectiveness on why you have to go shopping with her because the dog tore up the laundry. I think, to stay out of trouble, the DOG needs to go with her.

I love the comment about Walmart being open 24/7. "Thanks!"

A few grammatical mistakes. One is very easy to fix. "There" is a place. "Their" is 'belonging to them.' Easy to master. By the way, I agree with Terri, though I am a great offender, as well. If you have to excite them with exclamation marks, I suppose it doesn't count!

Way to go on writing a humorous piece. I'd like to see you keep on developing this voice. You're doing great!
03/10/07
Hey, great article. It made me chuckle thinking of my own poor husband.
Thanks for the humor!
03/12/07
Quite a humorous piece of writing and you managed to fit how we must live by God's standards at the end as well. That was truly clever.
03/12/07
I'm WITH YA!!!

Guess what MY wife does? NAAAHH forget it. I don't want to turn this into a "Can You Beat THIS" thing.

I just want you to know that I enjoyed reading your piece and that you were "on point" with the subject.

Good Job.

Pauly
03/13/07
A cute story but in my family it is hubby that shops and me that sits on the pursestrings. I did enjoy this. Nice work
03/20/07
Frank, as Chrissy mentioned in her comment, you deserve a big pat on the back for ranking 10th in Level 1 for this entry. The competition is always really strong in this level, so you did wonderfully well.

I have to admit that I'm just like you (there are quite a few women who also hate shopping - particularly around FaithWriters). I think that's why I enjoyed this so much.

It was a fun entry, that started well, then flowed smoothly through to a really good ending. You tied everything up very nicely.

If you ever become a 500 member, please let me know. I'd love to be able to use this in FaithWriters' Magazine.

Keep up the great work and the terrific sense of humor.

With love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator and Editor, FaithWriters' Magazine)