The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/22/07
I enjoyed this character study! I especially liked the descriptive verbs "twinkling" for the sun and "shuffling" for how Joe walked. I could see him!

His portrayal would be enhanced still further by including dialogue.

Moving message about the experience of aging. The title also sparked my curiosity--wondered what a vegetable stand had to do with sports or fitness.

Great job!
Love it! Reminds me of our time pastoring in NJ - the Vegetable Stands were everywhere... and folks would leave bags of produce at our door.

When his stand was open, Joe shared the healthest samplings of what God gave us to eat to promote fitness.

In his retirement, Joe showed the healthest examples of what God created us to do to stay fit.
02/23/07
I like the contrast between the mad dash of the automobiles, and Joe's slow shuffle.

Definitely, expand on this!
I am very partial to stories about the elderly. You painted a vivid picture of Joe. I just wish there was more. Good job!
02/26/07
A nice story and I felt like I could see Joe and his slow shuffle. Nice job