The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/22/07
Good story with an unexpected twist. I did wonder if the conversation in the first half progressed a little bit quickly - she seemd to move from denial to grief to acceptance very rapidly. Just my thought s- and of coure there's that pesky word-count! Nice piece, well done.
I love a happy ending! Feel free to double space between paragraphs and the character's comments... it helps a good piece look even better when it's presented in a nice package. This one desires a big red bow :)
02/23/07
A happy ending--hooray!

Many of your sentences end with the same pattern:

Samantha cried sitting...

Her mom replied trying...

The doctor asked walking...

Samantha asked fearing...

You get the idea--try to change up your sentence structure for a more varied read.

Wonderful, isn't it, how God directs our lives through our circumstances?
Love the twist at the end of this story. Good job.
02/24/07
Great ending.
02/26/07
A very good reminder that God can direct our paths even when our situations seem hopeless. A nicely written story