The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
Good point. Diciples begat diciples.
You did such a good job of showing us how to draw peole out of their shell.
thank you for your story.
02/17/07
This is a very authentic-feeling story of coming into spiritual maturity. You've captured teenage ambivalence perfectly.

There are a few mechanical issues, easily correctible, that will give more sophistication and flow to your piece. Feel free to e-mail me for suggestions.

Thanks for this entry--it's got a lot going for it!
02/22/07
A very nice story. I had some trouble with the spacing (it could have used spaces between paragraphs) but I enjoyed the story and liked the ending. Keep writing; you are a good storyteller!