The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1257 times
Member Comments
Delightful story! I could see the scene and feel with the feisty little girl. I loved her comment "when I get big and you get little," both as your title (it grabbed me right away) and in the story itself. I also loved the description of the "flames licking at the roof as hungrily as a child with an ice cream cone." Creative, original imagery!

Great message too, but would prefer to see it somehow woven into the story itself rather than coming as a moral lesson afterwards.

Great job!
You write very well. You have a good command of language and its mechanics. Your imagery draws the reader in and keeps their attention, makes them feel the emotions of the character. Blessings, Cheri
I agree that including the lesson in the story would be more effective. However, you do write very well. I did not find any grammar or technical issues at all. You had some nicely descriptive phrases. Love the title.
A very well written story. I agree that the "lesson" seemed out of place. Not sure about the comparison to David and Goliath, but that's probably just me. Also wondering why Betty threatened her mother, when it was the stepfather who spanked her. [shrug]
Loved the last paragraph - good ending.
I love stories from a child's point of view. Your title is quite a reader-grabber, and the story very well told. My only suggestion would be to shorten the "message" part into a single, final paragraph. [Try reading your story, skipping over the three paragraphs just ahead of the final one. I think you would still get your message across.]
A nice story. The title was amusing, but it was even more amusing as part of the story. I enjoyed reading this very much. Thanks for sharing it.
I really enjoyed this story, especially since it was written from a child's perspective. Thanks so much for writing this!
I was grabbed by your title, Myrna. I have a three year old granddaughter who says this. She also tells me that "When I was a little girl, I used to put mommy down in her vassinette. Do you remember?" I can tell I've spent a lot of time with her, talking, because she says, "When I was a little girl..." alot!
Reading old challenges again! This is such a good read.