The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I really like this story. It flows nicely. It needs to be broken up into more paragraphs, but overall, very nice.
Very good. I would follow the advice already given; try to break up a few more of the long paragraphs in order to make the word-blocks into a more reader friendly story.

Other than that, I read the whole thing straight through without hesitation.

Good job. Should be a top contender in this week's challenge.

May God bless.
Dan Blankenship

This is extremely good. Is this based on a true story? Your teacher reminded me vividly of my mother, who loves her class, many of whom are refugees, abused children, and future jail-fodder. Excellent portrayal of a sensitive teacher. I loved it.