The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Oh, the eyes of a child! My son would have gone BANANAS for something like this!! You did a lovely job of sharing this wonderful memory with us (I am assuming this is true!). Made me smile!
Great job on your first time out! Keep up the good work. It's a shame that no one else has remarked on this other than me and Joanne Sher.
What a fun birthday! I think it would have been even better if you had shown us the action and dialog by getting into someone's head and letting us feel like we were in the middle of the party. Great story!
Good, fun, story! I wanted to be a kid at the party, too! It may have sounded a little "stilted"? at times (to my ears), but you told it well.