The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 845 times
Member Comments
What a beautiful, heart-warming piece you written! I really liked this sentence: "I felt we were invading New Yorks privacy, but once there, ground zero drew us to its burrow, its hole, the ugly gap left by hate and repugnance and hostility".

You may want to work on starting your sentences with more variety - you tend to start a lot of them with "we", "I", and "they".

And I loved your ending - great job!
Absolutely a touching recounting of your visit. Well put together. Think about your use of the short choppy sentences. Hemingway used the style for effect - I'm not sure it is the same effect for which you are looking.
A very nice story and I can see what an impact that visit made on you. Well done!
I doubt you'll ever forget that experience. Good idea to use it for the challenge.