The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 886 times
Member Comments
Innocent and cute. Good job. A little 'mixed up' in some places where 'Dad' sounds more like the boys than 'Dad', but otherwise alright.
Oh, if only all families functioned like this and parents took the time to lovingly teach their kids! A Well told story with believable dialogue. Love the connection with worms and spaghetti! :-) yeggy
Nice job! As for believable dialogue, I am the mother of sons and I doubt that mine would have handled the worms in the manna as tastefully (pardon the pun} as the boys in your story! You did a great job of setting the scene and retelling the story in an easy to read format.
Great writing! I enjoyed the conversation and the questions and the whole flavor of this piece. It reminds me of the more formal questions and answers that happen at Passover, but here it seems even more special because it is more casual.

In the first paragraph you might think about putting the speaker reference after the first phrase. It's a long prayer and we don't know whose voice it is until the end.
I'm just wondering if Dad ever did eat anything ... ;) Maybe he had a nice quiet, romantic dinner with Mom after the boys left the table?? ;) Good teaching in everyday life.