The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
08/24/06
What I like - Oh you have wonderful content here. Your ending is great!!

What I might change - With a little editing here and there this story will be even better! In the first line, it should be (mother's) showing possession. There are a few places like that here and there and a few places you need to add an s to plural it. Something else to consider- instead of saying 'she cried' try showing what she did. For example, she wiped her eyes. Add some action instead of the saids. Someone once suggested that to me and it really helped improve my writing!
Keep at it! It shows that you have a lot to share!!
08/26/06
Thank you. This winter when I am hauling firewood into the house, I will remember this story and the weight of the Cross. Nice job.
08/27/06
Loved the analogy and the life lesson. wise grandmother! On the technical side, watch your homonyms like 'bare' and 'bear.' Keep writing!
I enjoyed the analogy. Grandmothers are so wise. We should all go back and think about the things they have taught us.