The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
A very interesting story. Nicely done! The ending seemed a little rushed, but everything building up to it was done very well.
I enjoyed this, and you made me care. It was disappointing that the ending felt so rushed - I'd be inclined (given the word limit) to take anther look and re-balance the piece. I.e. write the ending how you want it, then go through the whole thing with a cutting knife, shaving from all parts equally. Just a thought, but I did enjoy reading this.
This is such a beautiful story, and had a happy ending. I didn't think it seemed too rushed, but you could've added more detail in the end.
Congratulations on your first place win! A wonderfully crafted story. Great job!