TITLE: How To Plan A Good Fight
By LaVonne Wood
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
SEND ARTICLE TO A FRIEND
I don’t know about you, but I seem to know just the right things to say to get my husband really angry. Even though I tell myself, “don’t say it, don’t say it,” it never seems to fail that I wave that old dirty red laundry in front of him and it starts a shouting match every time. Therefore, I’ve come up with a “Fight Plan” that we can use to solve our differences. It looks something like this:
1) Stop shouting as quickly as possible, set a date, time, and place to resume the argument. For example, I would say, “Let’s resume this argument on Saturday, 2:00 pm at our favorite restaurant. Pick a time when neither you nor your mate are too tired or busy. Allow at least one hour for discussion.
2) Each one write down about five points to your argument. Taking the time to think it though helps us to come up with a clear picture to present to our mate. In the heat of an argument, we don’t always say what we really mean.
3) Pray about it and include asking God to help you understand the real issue. Pray that you can understand your mate’s side of the issue as well.
4) When you meet, give equal time for you and your mate to present their side of the issue. Then give equal time to make sure you understand what your mate is trying to express. Lastly see if you can come up with a solution together. Don’t worry if that doesn’t happen at that time. Most people just want to be heard and understood. If you can accomplish that at the first meeting, you have made great progress.
5) If nothing was resolved, plan to meet again at a date in the near future. In the meantime, both should pray and consider the other’s side of the argument.
These are just some suggestion that work for us. My husband is not the best at expressing himself, but he is good at making lists and plans. It works for him to write down the pros and cons of any decisions. I am more app to write down how I feel about things because that is what is important to me.
We both like to go out for coffee dates and discuss plans for the future, so, having our fights over coffee gives it a positive atmosphere. Meeting at a restaurant also helps us keep our voices down.
Make up a plan that works for you according to your personalities and preferences.
Hopefully, by the end of this planned fight, you will both put up the white flag in surrender to God’s perfect plan.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.