TITLE: Coping with Child Part Two 23.10.2015
By Trace Pezzali
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William’s salty-damp soft fine hair tickled her cheek as she turned her face into the warm head that rested against her shoulder. She nuzzled his neck and breathed in his delicious warm scent.
She stored up this finite moment with all the times that made the fatigues and frustrations of motherhood worth it. Kelly recalled how she had felt the first instant this newborn had nestled in her arms. As she delighted over the perfect face that she’d imagined for nine months; at his wrinkled little fingers and thin legs that kicked and stretched; at the relief that he was safely born; she was aware that every previous ambition paled in comparison to this awesome responsibility, and that this child was to be her greatest life’s work.
Whilst each day held its own struggles, she had been markedly less weighed down by the opinions of others. With every piece of advice she was given, the Holy Spirit gave a gentle nudge only at the relevant instruction.
But these many months since that revelation had been far from easy. Kelly anticipated it would be a lifelong rollercoaster.
At times, anxiety or tiredness, both as heavy as a thick black cloak, threatened to suffocate her. The monotony of chores wore her down with the mundane. Restricted by the small world of home she occasionally fought irritation both at Will and Brett, and thought of easier days of freedom.
At no other time in her life had she been so aware of her sinful ugliness and its destructive bent. Forced into servant hood by a demanding infant, her internal dialogue loudly bewailed her own hunger or discomfort. Christ called for his followers to lay down their lives for others. She struggled against this sacrifice, and would hit walls of condemnation that left her concussed with either despair or self-pity.
She had come to realise that only God’s Word explained and relieved her troubles. Inevitably, a destructive viewpoint or attitude was breeding in her heart. How complicated she was; layers of false beliefs and self-interest were revealed when she chose to challenge her pride.
Thankfulness and perspective transformed each situation, and she was constantly amazed by the faithful provision of answers she found in God’s care.
Whilst it was a rollercoaster, God made it a thrilling ride when she held on to Him rather than the rickety ways of the world. A series of freedoms from finally-named burdens, life-transforming revelations and wisdom in season, a solid refining love in Brett, nurturing fellowship, and always, those moments of pure delight over that beautiful boy with his myriad firsts and innocent glory.
Her heart thrilled at him. The near-invisible peachy down of fine hair that covered his body… That smile of his given just to her… The Koala Cling of him risen from sleep… Pinning down memories and making momentos of how much he’d already grown…
Dear Lord, let it not be too soon, that time, when I’ll not be the one to comfort and guide as Will becomes a man. Help me teach him prudence and knowledge and discretion. Enable me to enjoy all these moments – every one, lovely or difficult. I trust Your faithfulness. You will establish us all and guard us against the evil one. Amen.
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