TITLE: "Encouraging Mums: 31 Days of Hope" Day 3) Has Life Changed Forever? - 17th August 2016
By Nicki Jeffery
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
SEND ARTICLE TO A FRIEND
Day 3) Has Life Changed Forever?
Has life changed forever? Absolutely! The self-centred way you and I lived in our teens and perhaps twenties or even early thirties is pretty hard to achieve now. Baby comes first. But what about self-care?
Remember when you saw two lines on your pregnancy test? Remember sharing your excitement a few weeks later with your partner and/or family and friends? Remember the nausea and the medical appointments?
What about the relief you felt when you held your baby in your arms for the first time? And when you brought your baby home?
In life you progress from babyhood where your needs are hopefully met, through to independence and now, when your own babies/children are dependent on you.
You may be a teen Mum. You may be a new Mum at 40. Motherhood bonds you with other mothers. Children are the thread that entwines you with women.
I had become “Miss Independent” like the Kelly Clarkson song. Many single years in my twenties contributed to my status. Years of university, full time teaching and jet setting kept me busy and unsettled.
From meeting my husband to welcoming our first child there were about four and a half years. Years of surrendering some of my selfish ways and independent lifestyle habits. I say some because I am definitely still headstrong and stubborn. But when there are two of you, life is about compromise. Pleasing another and not just yourself.
Then there were three. And one of them demanded more time and attention. For one of them, his parents were his whole world. For one of them, his Mummy was his main carer. And she felt so inadequate.
You can be confident in areas of your life pre-natally, then feel like a blob of jelly as a Mum. Totally incompetent. Ill-equipped. Like you are all thumbs.
Life has changed. And change is hard.
Have you seen the Facebook posts – “I’m sick. I’ll just stay in bed all day. Oh, wait. I’m a Mum!” “Yay, it’s Friday! Oh, wait. I’m a Mum!”
Remember sleeping in on weekends? Remember eating chocolate whenever you felt like it, rather than sitting on the pantry floor at 8pm scoffing a bag of M and Ms? Remember leisurely walks with your loved one or a friend, without a pram or a toddler dashing off?
Yes, life has changed. You have created a human being. You are a biological mother of children. You mean everything to someone. You are precious and beautiful.
Your children anchor you. They settle you and ground you. You build a home for them like a bird builds a nest. You provide food and warmth and love. Only you can do this.
You have a new job. Your most important role. The least pay with the most responsibility. A lifetime career. It’s all yours.
You are the queen of your home. You set the thermostat. You are able to do your job and take your place. You will need support. You don’t have to walk this long road alone.
You may not like change, but it is part of life. And change can be wonderful. It’s not without bumps in the road. Climb the hill and turn the corner and you will behold beauty. The forest grows back after the wild fire. Heat from the burning trees pop open the seed-filled cones that fall to the ground and germinate. Seedlings grow, then buds form and blossom. The forest is renewed.
Hang on as we take this rollercoaster ride together. You will emerge one day as a queen settled and secure in her family. A joyful mother of children.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.