TITLE: The Undeniable Result (Part 1) updated 12/23/15
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Nancy, a single mother whom I met in a Bible study group said to me, “My fourteen year old daughter, Katie, has a crush on a handsome teenage youth leader at our church. I’m concerned since she’s having a tough time containing her emotions for him, especially in his presence.”
“What do you mean ‘containing her emotions’?” I asked.
“Katie tries to be around him as much as possible. She said she wants to blurt out that she likes him,” Nancy explained.
My first response was, “I’ll pray for her.” But after further thought I realized that my friends’ love story might encourage Katie, so I wrote the story below and emailed it to Nancy.
Nancy printed the story and read it with Katie.
Then a miracle occurred. Katie’s obsession turned from “my will” to “God’s will.” Upon reading the story with her mother, Katie said, “Mom, I’m going to wait!”
My friends, Ron and Jean Kam, told me their inspiring love story.
Jean explained, “Ron and I were in the same Roosevelt High School Christian group. My heart would flutter for Ron whenever I was near him, but he didn’t have an interest in me as more than a friend. I confided in my Christian mentor about my desire for Ron. She advised, “Allow God to fashion you into a godly woman (Genesis 2:22), wait for Him to give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4).
Ron and Jean continued their education at the University of Hawaii and joined the Navigators College Ministry, where they shared their faith in Christ with others. It wasn’t easy for Jean to be around Ron whom she had “feelings” for, all the while wondering if God would bring them together as a couple.
Jean said, “I knew that Ron studied at Hamilton library so I would look for him and try to sit next to him. But Ron was serious about his studies, so he would move away from me to a quiet place to concentrate.”
It wasn’t until they graduated from the University of Hawaii and Ron was about to leave for missionary work in Japan that he realized Jean had the qualities he wanted in a wife. It was about seven years after Jean’s heart first thumped for Ron, yet he was unaware of Jean’s fondness for him that prayerfully spanned from high school past university graduation.
Ron did not previously consider Jean as a possible wife because his cousin and closest friend, Martin, who belonged to the same Christian group, briefly dated Jean during high school; so Ron kept his distance out of respect for any lingering feelings. But when his eyes opened to Jean’s godly character, he consulted with Martin about pursuing her. Martin responded, “I think Jean would be a good wife for you.”
However, there was one thing that Martin wondered about Jean. He had given her a cross pendant when they were in high school, which Jean wore all the time. He wondered if Jean might be holding on to their past relationship, so Martin asked her, “Is there a reason why you always wear that pendant?”
Jean answered, “I just like this cross as something that I got from a friend.”
Understanding her response as, I’m not holding on to special feelings for you, Martin gave Ron the “thumbs-up.”
A few months later, Ron asked Jean for some time to talk. He drove them to Queen Emma Park, close to Jean’s home. With trepidation, because he didn’t know if he would be rejected, he asked
Jean, “So what do you think of our relationship?” His plan was to ferret out a positive indication before revealing his feelings.
Jean replied, “I’ve been interested in you since high school, waiting for God to initiate a chance to tell you how I feel about you.” Upon hearing her words, Ron’s love for Jean burst from bud to full bloom in a, “kaboom fireworks” floating hearts and cupids with the sound of chirping birds, heartbeat!
Ron said with emphatic emotion, “I was shocked to learn that she had steadily carried a torch for me for so long!”
Jean sighed while patting Ron’s hand, “Ron, you were so clueless.”
“I had a list of non-negotiable traits that I prayed for in a wife. I realized in that instant that Jean possessed all of them. She trusted and pursued God above her desires. I knew that I was going to marry Jean. I was fully committed to her!”
As stated in Ecclesiastes 3:11, it was God who made everything beautiful in its time.
Ron recognized that Jean’s love was like Christ’s love that patiently waits for us. He described the situation by holding his palm out and open. “Jean’s love was not tightfisted, grabby, or pushy like the conniving “TV drama-type” of love. Her love was like Christ’s: patient, kind, and gentle (1 Corinthians 13). How rare. How valuable is that kind of love?”
Ron and Jean were unaware that God had been fashioning them into the perfect mate for each other while they remained focused on Him. It wasn’t only Jean’s character, but also Ron’s character that was Christ-like.
Because Ron desired to emulate Christ, he approached Jean with purity. Ron made sure that their relationship proceeded in the right order with the approval of all parties associated with their relationship. He did not force himself on her (Ruth 3-4).
Of interesting note was that Ron was no dork. He was a popular man on campus since high school and could have “played the field.” But, he remained committed to a growing relationship with Christ and would say, “The one woman whose hand I hold will be my wife.” He and Christ remained true to their word.
Ron and Jean Kam were married on March 1, 1986, after Ron returned from his overseas mission. Jean not only waited seven years for Ron to realize that she was the perfect mate for him, but she also waited two and a half more years while he was a missionary in Japan.
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