Return to Content
Read Our Devotional
Opportunities to be Published
The Home for Christian Writers! Matthew 6:33
ENCOURAGE AUTHOR BY COMMENTING
Add to Favorites
The Janitor's Keys
Not For Sale
Author requests article critique
I wrote this little random bit of nothingness for a short-short-story contest a year or so ago. The point was just to create a character and something of a story in less than 500 words. Incidentally, I didn't win.
As a janitor, he was a man of little consequence, a man who went unnoticed. His name was Carson, and he had too many keys. Way too many keys.
Beneath it all, however, his name wasn’t Carson, and he didn’t work scrubbing floors at the West Sheldon Methodist Church, as his custodial status asserted. He lived two lives—but for all anyone knew, he may as well have been living three or four. Deception was the name of his game; it was the only way to keep a top-secret government research project hidden.
On that rainy Tuesday morning, however, his life as a janitor became something of the past, and his alternate occupation took on a new significance. He woke to the sound of rain pattering on the window and the telephone ringing in the kitchen. That was unusual; the lab rarely ever tried to contact him at home.
He knew the call was important—it had better be important, at that hour of the morning—but he wasn’t ready to wake up yet. Not ready at all. And the phone was in the
He dragged himself out of bed and stumbled in the dark to the kitchen door, the phone screaming at him all the while. He swiped at the light switch, wincing as the ceiling fluorescents sputtered to life, and then searched the room for the cordless receiver. Turned out it was buried in a pile of TV guides and gamers’ magazines. What a mess.
He hit the talk button. “Hello?”
The voice that came back was shaky, breathless, muffled with static. “Carson? Is—is that you?”
It was Dari, he realized—Dari Montana, one of the reserve engineers. She shouldn’t have been at the lab so early, unless—unless something was wrong—
The static on the line was building. Carson raised his voice to be heard over the tumult. “What’s going on?”
She sounded panicked. “I—I don’t know what to do! One of the physicists did something late last night, and they called me in but—it’s out of control, Carson! You’ve got to get over here, now!”
Carson’s mind was numb. Too early in the morning for this. “Slow down, Dari. What’s wrong?”
“I don’t even know! It’s the first vessel; something shifted the pattern. I don’t know what they did, but you’ve got to get over here now or we’re—”
The phone went dead with a burst of static that trailed to silence. Nothing but the rain dripping past the window. Carson stared at the wall, motionless. The first vessel; something had gone wrong with the launch, the pattern was out of alignment. But what could he do? He was, after all, just a janitor—
He tossed the receiver onto the counter and dashed back into his bedroom. He grabbed a jacket, a ring of keys, realized they were the wrong set, tossed them back, grabbed another. Totally unprepared. He didn’t know what to do.
What a mess. He hurried past the magazines and out the front door.
PLEASE ENCOURAGE AUTHOR BELOW
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
Reader Count & Comments
12 Apr 2006
You have talent. I really like the foundation of this story. One suggestion: Listen to the character. Does he have a sense of humor about this very serious but hopelessly ridiculous double life he lives... You have a lot of ability... listen to the lead character. Just a suggestion. Look forward to reding more.
Amy Michelle Wiley
05 Jan 2006
It's a great start. I want more. :-)
10 Nov 2005
Definitely an interesting piece here, Kyle. LOL A janitor secret government official... LOL
This article has been read
times < Previous |
Read more articles by
or search for other articles by topic below.
Search for articles on: (e.g. creation; holiness etc.)
Read more by clicking on a link:
Main Site Articles
Most Read Articles
Highly Acclaimed Challenge Articles
New Release Christian Books for Free for a Simple Review
NEW - Surprise Me With an Article - Click here for a random URL
God is Not Against You - He Came on an All Out Rescue Mission to Save You
...in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them... 2 Cor 5:19
Therefore, my friends, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you. Acts 13:38
LEARN & TRUST JESUS HERE
The opinions expressed by authors do not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
FaithWriters offers Christian reading material for Christian readers. We offer Christian articles, Christian fiction, Christian non-fiction, Christian Bible studies, Christian poems, Christian articles for sale, free use Christian articles, Christian living articles, New Covenant Christian Bible Studies, Christian magazine articles and new Christian articles. We write for Jesus about God, the Bible, salvation, prayer and the word of God.
Link To Us
Become A Member