Short Stories
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The morning sun highlighted every piece of dust covering the windowsill. Last night’s dishes called out for attention while the floor crunched under her feet. Mariann flicked her hair off her forehead as she slapped bread and meat together. In the background, the television blared, “Are your kids kicking and punching each other? Are you tired of these fights that break out everyday? Well, maybe it’s time for you to stay at home, mom. We can help.”
She groaned and grabbed another lunchbox. Four a day was her norm. Well, for the kids-her husband and her had to have one, too.
The eggs began to boil as the morning news came on, “Nine in ten mothers are juggling work and home causing stress and guilt to overwhelm them. Many psychologists are worried about the effect this will have on the children.”
Andrew swiveled on his chair while smacking his breakfast. “Mom, you should see the cool music I made with redstone yesterday.”
“That sounds neat, sweetheart. Did you figure that out by yourself?”
“Well, yes and no, I saw a Minecraft You-tuber make Happy Birthday with it and I thought that I could do something like that, too.”
“Didn’t the zombies try to get you?”
“No way, Mom. I made sure I put it in creative mode when I made it. Remember I told you I could do that?”
"I do. You really enjoy playing Minecraft, don’t you?”
“Definitely.” He grabbed another cookie and jumped down from the chair. “Mom, you’re the bestest listener, ever.”
She was going to correct his grammar, but a distant memory stopped her. The memory was almost distinct when the alarm on her phone went off, and she knew it was time to leave. The kids had to be at school by 8, yet she had to be at her own school ready to teach at 8:10. Round and round the days went by.
Mariann grabbed her keys and noticed the magazine cover under them. “Seven ways to make sure your kids are happy while you work.”
Why can’t they simply let moms be the unique moms God called them to be? Working or not. She breathed a short prayer for wisdom and headed out the door calling for her brood to put a move on.
30 years earlier
A counter full of homework assignments and mail stood between Joy and her daughter, Marianne. She stood in the kitchen chopping vegetables A sigh escaped her lips as she thought of trying to get all the clothes washed, the kitchen cleaned and her class’s papers graded.
Mariann asked, “Mom, did I tell you about the field trip we went on yesterday?”
“A little bit, but can you tell more about it?”
Mariann told all about their time at the aquarium. Ryan who didn’t want to touch the ray. Laura who got bit by a crab. Hosea who laughed every time the otter swam by. “The best part was when our teacher, Mr. Mason, sat on a bench that had just been painted. He got the strangest look on his face when he realized what he’d done that we couldn’t help but laugh.”
They both chuckled. “I’m sure it was a sight to see. How did he get through the rest of the day like that?” She dumped dinner into an already boiling pot of water.
”Well, it dried pretty quickly, but he sure walked funny.”
“I bet.” The vegetables smelled of harmony and nourishment.
Mariann walked over and hugged her from behind. “Mom, you’re the bestest listener in the whole world.”
Rubbing her arm, Joy turned to look at Mariann’s face, “One day I hope you know how wonderful it is to be a mom.”
Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6 NIV
**Dedicated to my momma who taught me how to listen**
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From one author to another, I assume you want your article to get as close to perfect as possible. Here are a few things that jumped off the page to me:
kids-her husband and her had to have one, too.
1. Space the words out more kids -
2. Let it read - she and her husband needed one too
3. Take the comma out of the sentence.
bestest listener, ever.†- take the comma out of the sentence.
Mariann/Marianne - make sure you spell this name the same every time you use it
chopping vegetables A sigh escaped - place a period after the word vegetables
Working or not. She breathed - close up the space between the words "not. She" - so it is consistent with the rest of the spacing.
cleaned and her - comma after the word cleaned,
I always appreciate it when someone points out minor improvements to me, as I strive to become the best writer I can be.