Bible Studies

Are you there, God?

by Rev. Joseph Kurtz
02/18/21
Not For Sale

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Deuteronomy 31:8

(NIV)

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Just reflecting on this verse and composing a devotional. It really hits home for me the more I consider it. I grew up in a low-income housing area throughout the 80s and 90s. The area was heavily involved in drug traffic, you had gangs from all over the area stemming from Youngstown, Ohio to Detriot and centering down into one in this area. I can remember as a kid looking out my window and watching individuals rolling the dice and watching drugs passing from one hand to the other. We had individuals being an arrested and constant police involvement in the area. I can remember watching outside while playing, individuals walking right up the back area of my apartment I lived in. With semi-automatic weapons and everyone running for their lives. It was scary and everything seem so uncertain. I can remember being shaken to get awake by my mother. As my uncle informed her that people were outside shooting and they were both consider that bullets would fly through the window maybe and my sister and I were instructed to move to the front of the apartment to sleep that particular night.

Growing up, seeing how some of my family members and others would consider us nothing in their eyes. My mother strives to shield her kids from the negativity of others, but sadly it still spilled over that I got the impression that I will never amount to anything. That my environment would eventually consume who i was and dictate according to others, what and how I will be in life. That I am nothing. I found myself reflecting on my past when I was 19 years old and accepting Christ into my life. For this is my testimony of becoming a Christian who experienced the wonder that we call our God in many aspects in my life and holds great love and compassion to those I meet. The first time God spoke to me and I accept Him in my life. Considering what I was accepting was at times difficult to understand the true meaning of being a Christian. Often finding myself wondering if I was on the right track and is this what I want? In this verse, our Heavenly Father was telling the Israelites that everything will be okay and they are under His protection. Just like I was and you will be too.

Meaning could I really become more in life through Christ. I was raised poor and living in a HUD apartment complex. My mother was disabled and we found ourselves living on welfare and struggling to pay bills. Often finding my family with very little to eat. When God spoke to me that day, and it was an incredible experience when considering it! I felt the Holy Spirit come upon me, as it was a warm feeling of being frozen and then unfrozen. Like someone put a blanket on me and showed comfort at the same time. Encouraging me to step out of my life I was in and seek Him. For He would guide me in my destiny that He has for me. Telling me things of what I would accomplish through His name. It was just so unreal to imagine and take in.

I wanted it, but I wanted to be for Him foremost. Placing Him first in my life. Telling me things that I must work towards and telling me that He was there right with me. I never thought anyone, especially God Himself, taking an interest in me and telling me He can use me. I felt like Peter when Jesus spoke to him. Matthew 16:18, "And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock, I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it". Peter was a fisherman by trade. He was not a minister and to many, he was nothing worthwhile. That he was stating what he believed and would follow in his belief. Here I am, an individual who has a fear of heights, who suffered from social anxiety, not having very many friends because of my social disorder and God selected me to perform as I was stating what I believe. I was no minister and very young in my understanding of God. It was an amazing nod to me.

This verse above brings me to my point of this devotional as I fast forward to being 34. God had me moving in a direction that many and including myself in awe. Here I am selling all I had and trusting in Christ in my walk with Him. I had a family friend and her boyfriend picking me up and taking me to the local airport in Pittsburgh, Pa. I am going through TSA in having my luggage being checked and boarding a plane. I am sitting on my flight with JetBlue and hearing the pilot on the PA system. Saying to everyone, " That we are currently at 30,000 feet or so in the air".  I am like, "Oh my God, please Father give me strength and courage to endure this feat". He was leading me to the Philippines to met a young lady to whom I would eventually get married to. I went from Pittsburgh to Boston and flying over the Atlantic Ocean to the UAE. Then going from there, to the conclusion of my flight which was to Manila. I was safe and sound in His protection. This whole encounter was by faith alone, not by sight. If this was by sight, and I would have never have boarded the planes I traveled on.

In conclusion, if you are worried, discouraged,  concern, and troubled in your thinking. Remember this devotional and this verse. Throughout this whole experience, remember He never abandoned me and was right there holding my hand and speaking to me. Telling me I am safe and everything will be okay. Remembering this devotional, I start soon in my Ministry program at OCU next week. Scared of many things the more I think about it, will I get along with my classmates, APA formatting and how will my grades be as I go through each week of the upcoming course, but instead of holding back? I am stepping out in faith,  walking across a bridge I can't see and not looking down, but what is in front of me and that is GOD!