Return to Content
Read Our Devotional
Opportunities to be Published
The Home for Christian Writers! Matthew 6:33
In The News
ENCOURAGE AUTHOR BY COMMENTING
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
As A Member
Add to Favorites
Bats aren't Kosher
Author requests article critique
And then another sign appeared in Heaven: and behold, a great red dragon….[Revelation 12:3]
“Is this it,
“What is, Mein schlupe’lah.”
This PLAGUE stuff?”
“What about it, kin’dah'schluben."
Is this IT?”
“Yeah! This plague v'schleet'ah. Is this like, IT?
The End of the World?”
“Don’t cuss, My child.”
“That’s what’s upsetting You, LORD?
What about this plague mishe'guleh that
You let loose on the world?”
“You blame Me, child.”
“Well, of course. You made those people!”
“Who, My little one.”
“You know! Those people over there that
eat fried BATS!”
“Who, Mein schlip’ke’ah.”
Those meshshu’genah that eat bats with sweet-n-sour sauce, LORD!”
“Are they out’a their friggin’ MINDS?”
“Don’t they know bats have rabies, and all sorts of
weird diseases? And, that they carry….duh,... VIRUSES?”
[Silence in Heaven. An angel, just arrived from Earth, and wearing a face-mask, flies into The Throne Room. The angel, named Clutz’z, accidentally bumps into a baby bat that is flitting about the ceiling of The Throne Room. The bat’s name is Vamp’ere. The tiny bat gets scared and begins making little shrieking noises. Clutz’z reaches up and pets Vamp’ere: letting him grab, with his tiny sharp teeth, a tidbit of fresh-smelling apple that he’s picked up from Earth.]
“What’s wrong with those people, anyway? They
eat dogs, and cats, and wolves, and bears…
for God’s sakes! Haven’t they ever read the TORAH?"
“WHOSE….. sake, child?”
“Whatever. So when are You gonna come up the
“To what, Mein kin’der.”
"To all this viral stuff! I’m TIRED of it! When I wear a mask to Walmart, my glasses all fog up! Can’t those meshu’gen’ah over there teach everybody how to wear these damn masks?”
[Silence. Clutz’z is trying to pull off his face-mask. One of its loops is caught in Clutz’z’s right wing. His big round blue glasses are all fogged up. Vamp’ere
has flitted down to sit on Clutz’z’s left wing: making more screeching noises, and peering about for more apple tidbits. Vamp'ere's wings are beautifully shiny and black. Clutz'z's right wing is crooked, and has comet dust all over it.]
“Then don’t go to Walmart, meshu’gen’ah’lah. I thought you were trying to be more financially responsible, and keeping on a budget.”
That was a phase.
It lasted about two days.
So? So where the hell’s that damn VACCINE?”
“Don’t you know,
These….you shall detest among the birds; they are
abhorrent, not to be eaten: the eagle, and the vulture, ….and the falcon…and the hawk, and the ostrich, and little owl….and, the stork…..
and the bat. [Leviticus 11:1-19]
PLEASE ENCOURAGE AUTHOR BELOW
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
AS A MEMBER
Reader Count & Comments
23 May 2020
The cuss words are in Yiddish. You can google them, or use your imagination. thanks.
This article has been read
| Next >
Read more articles by
or search for other articles by topic below.
Search for articles on: (e.g. creation; holiness etc.)
Read more by clicking on a link:
Main Site Articles
Most Read Articles
Highly Acclaimed Challenge Articles
New Release Christian Books for Free for a Simple Review
NEW - Surprise Me With an Article - Click here for a random URL
God is Not Against You - He Came on an All Out Rescue Mission to Save You
...in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them... 2 Cor 5:19
Therefore, my friends, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you. Acts 13:38
LEARN & TRUST JESUS HERE
The opinions expressed by authors do not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
FaithWriters offers Christian reading material for Christian readers. We offer Christian articles, Christian fiction, Christian non-fiction, Christian Bible studies, Christian poems, Christian articles for sale, free use Christian articles, Christian living articles, New Covenant Christian Bible Studies, Christian magazine articles and new Christian articles. We write for Jesus about God, the Bible, salvation, prayer and the word of God.
Link To Us
Become A Member