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A Better Way To Breakup

by Emmanuella Ellis 
04/24/20
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Relationships can get quite stormy. Two people decide to take their friendship to the next level, so they get into the love boat and begin to sail. And in the beginning, it's beautiful, they feel connected to each other and enjoy each others company.

There is that sense of being free to love and being loved back. Like sailing, they feel like they are going on an adventure and can’t wait to have the next experience, share and make memories.

But then there is a storm and the love and connection that was shared are not able to carry them safely through to the desired destination. One person comes to the conclusion that the other partner is responsible for the storm. So, he/she decides to end the relationship but, when people are sad, scared, tired and hurt, one person is often thrown overboard to stop the raging storm.

People who are hurt are more likely to hurt others, but it doesn’t have to be the situation especially when children of God are involved. It is important to handle a breakup well so that one partner doesn’t go through much more pain and possibly drown in it when it could have been avoided.

In trying to bring some calm into your life when a relationship is going bad, you don’t necessarily have to throw the other person into the storm (breaking up in a harsh way). That person may just be sinking amid all that is happening.

It is often difficult for the person to find a way to stay afloat and get out of it. But we can try to work things out so that the boat is sailed to a safe place where both of you can get off calmly with less pain instead of throwing another overboard. It is important to talk about how you feel and understand your partner's concerns. 

Love is patient, kind, does not seek its own, is not provoked and doesn't take into account wrong suffered. You have to choose to show love even during a breakup. You should not desire to inflict more pain but rather help relieve the pain. This is a good time to "activate" Mark 12:31 by doing the very thing that you would want to have done to you.

Your feelings may have changed. You may no longer be in love with the person or feel loved but you can still choose to show love and act with the other person's interest at heart when calling off a relationship. Because all you are doing is taking a detour off the road to marriage and hopefully back to friendship, which is where you started from. There is no reason for that to change. Choose to show love at all times not because you feel it or receive it but because it is a decision and a calling as a disciple of Christ.