World Will Look Different After You Read This
It's found that only 7 percent of communication comes from spoken words, 38 percent is from the tone of the voice, and 55 percent comes from body language which is non-verbal. Body language messages are sent automatically and unconsciously. Women send approximately five times more body language messages and gestures than men in the same time period. Body language has proven to be our most reliable indicator of how others feel about us .Know how unconsciously you are sending signals through your body language.
Women commonly display interest in men via these cues. Tossing hair over a shoulder, partially closed eyelids, sideways glance, licking the lips, applying cosmetics to moisten or redden the lips, slight exposure of the shoulder, exposure of the soft skin of her wrists and palms, playing with any cylindrical object, rolling hips while walking, sitting with one leg tucked under the other and pointing the folded leg toward the male, standing with legs apart with weight on one foot, slowly crossing or uncrossing the legs, kicking top leg back and forth, stroking thigh, dangling one shoe while seating one leg crossed over the other knee, echoing and mirroring and the strongest being pupil dilation. Women are attracted to men wearing the color blue. Guys who frequently wear blue are stable, faithful, constant and always there. The blue guy is a fantastic candidate for a long-term. Women should wear a pink- peach to make themselves most approachable. Strong women prefer to wear deep red, burgundy or plum. Of all the colors, red is the most sensual. Caterpillar yellow-green is said to repel both sexes equally.
Men are clumsy at signalling interest in women. Smoothing the hair down with a hand, making little grooming gestures involving collar and shirtsleeves, or straightening the tie, sweeping specks off a shoulder with a hand, slowly buttoning and unbuttoning or zipping and unzipping jacket / coat, taking jacket off, playing with circular objects, sock-pulling, lightly stroking thighs, spreading legs, unconscious pupil dilatation and above all the aggressive thumbs-in-belt pose(one or both thumbs are hooked into the belt of the pants with the downward pointing fingers) are typical of male gestures. Guys intending to get highest attention in a gathering choose to stand in the centre of the hall. Studies show that men associate the scents of cinnamon and vanilla with love. Folding arms and chewing gum, ice or fingernails indicate anxiety or frustration and keep a female away.
Most Common Body Language Signals:
Holding objects like a coffee cup, notebook, hand bag, etc., in front of your body indicates shyness and resistance.
Checking the time or inspecting your fingernails or picking lint off of your clothes during a conversation, especially in conjunction with looking downwards are all strong signs of boredom.
Stroking your chin while looking at someone during a decision-making process shows you’re making a judgmental decision about them.
Narrowing your eyes while looking at someone indicates that you don’t like the person and his or her ideas.
Standing too close to someone makes him or her feel uncomfortable. Most people consider a 4 square feet of space immediately surrounding their body to be the personal space. You cross this invisible boundary only with good friends and very intimate people.
Looking down while in the presence of others indicates disinterest. Sometimes it’s even interpreted as a casual sign of arrogance.
Touching your face during a conversation, especially on the nose, is commonly interpreted as an indication of deception. Also, covering up the mouth is a common gesture people make when they’re lying.
Faking a smile is another sign of deception commonly seen on the face of a fraud. A genuine smile wrinkles the corners of the eyes and changes the expression of the entire face. Fake smiles only involve the mouth and lips. It’s easy to distinguish between the two.
Leaning away from someone when sitting around a table is a sign of being bored and disinterested. People typically lean towards people they like and away from people they dislike.
Resting hands behind the head or on the hips is interpreted as a sign of superiority.
Crossing your arms is a sign of defensive resistance or self-centeredness. Scratching at the backside of your head and neck is a typical sign of doubt and uncertainty. It can also be interpreted as an indication of lying.
Messing with the collar of your shirt shows you feel horribly uncomfortable and nervous Increasing your rate of blinking is a clear sign of anxiety and nervousness. You would have noticed this in some individuals during their public speaking.
Bending your shoulders forward indicates low self-esteem. Pulled back shoulders shows strong self-confidence.
Standing with your hands crossed over your genitals with shoulders bend forward indicates you are nervous and unsure of yourself.
Sitting on the edge of your chair is a clear indication of being mentally and physically uncomfortable.
Foot and finger tapping usually indicates stress, impatience and boredom. Using your hands to fiddle with small objects like a pen, paper, ball etc., is another sign of anxiety and unpreparedness.
Repeatedly shifting body weight from one foot to another foot usually indicates mental and physical discomfort showing you want to abandon the conversation.
If someone mirrors or mimics your appearance and actions, this is a very genuine sign that they are interested in you.
If someone brushes his hair back with his fingers and if the person wears glasses, and is constantly pushing them up and down on his nose, you can be pretty sure that he disagrees with you.
Dilated pupils in eyes mean that the person is interested, especially this sign is an indication to show opposite sex attractions.
Here is a summary of different gestures and their meanings:
Gesture: Brisk, erect walk .Meaning: Confidence
Gesture: Standing with hands on hips. Meaning: Readiness, aggression
Gesture: Sitting with legs crossed, foot kicking slightly. Meaning: Boredom
Gesture: Sitting legs apart . Meaning: Open, relaxed
Gesture: Arms crossed on chest. Meaning: Defensiveness
Gesture: Walking with hands in pockets, shoulders bent. Meaning: Dejection
Gesture: Hand to cheek. Meaning: Evaluation, thinking
Gesture: Touching, slightly rubbing nose. Meaning: Rejection, doubt, lying
Gesture: Rubbing the eye. Meaning: Doubt, disbelief
Gesture: Hands clasped behind back . Meaning: Anger, frustration, apprehension
Gesture: Locked ankles. Meaning: uneasiness
Gesture: Head resting in hand, eyes downcast . Meaning: Boredom
Gesture: Rubbing hands. Meaning: Anticipation
Gesture: Sitting with hands clasped behind head, legs crossed. Meaning: Confidence, superiority
Gesture: Open palm. Meaning: Sincerity, openness, innocence
Gesture: Pinching bridge of nose, eyes closed. Meaning: Negative evaluation
Gesture: Tapping or drumming fingers. Meaning: Impatience
Gesture: Fingertips touch, forming a shape like a church steeple. Meaning: Authoritative
Gesture: Patting/fondling hair. Meaning: Lack of self-confidence; insecurity
Gesture: Quickly tilted head. Meaning: Interest
Gesture: Stroking chin. Meaning: Trying to make a decision
Gesture: Looking down, face turned away. Meaning: Disbelief
Gesture: Biting nails. Meaning: Insecurity, nervousness
Gesture: Pulling or tugging at ear. Meaning: Indecision
Gesture: Prolonged tilted head. Meaning: Boredom
Gesture: Biting lips. Meaning: Anticipating something.
Gesture: Looking to the side. Meaning: feeling guilty.
You may try to fake your body language to give a different signal to others after studying all these. You may succeed awhile; your body language will reveal the real ‘you’ ultimately without you recognizing it!
Tips to improve your body language:
Psychology and body language experts agree that one of the most important things you can do to make yourself more attractive (and approachable) is to smile in a normal way. Proverbs 15:13 says, “A glad heart makes a cheerful face” Smile and laugh - Laughter is contagious, it will also help put you in a positive mood. Your body language will naturally improve because of it. Slow down, breathe regularly . Nothing will stress you out more than moving at full speeds. Don't walk fast (except for your exercise time), don't talk fast and remember to breathe. Not only will this help calm you down, it'll calm down the people around you. Use your body with purpose. Never fiddle. Keep your hands out of your pockets. Don't be afraid to take up a little space. Hold objects by your side . If you have a drink in hand, keep it to your side, not in front of your chest. Holding your drink in front of your chest can express the same feelings as if you were standing with your arms crossed. Relax. Show your interest . Nod occasionally to let the person you are interacting with know that you are listening and are in agreement. Leaning in is another way to show your interest, just be careful not to lean in too soon or too often. Eye contact is powerful . Make eye contact with the people you are talking to, just don't stare. Breaking eye contact downward is generally more positive than breaking eye contact to the sides. If you have trouble looking people in the eye, try looking at their nose instead. They won't be able to tell.
Philippians 4:8 says, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."
You can change your body language but as all new habits it takes a while. Take a couple of these body language bits to work on every day for three to four weeks. By then they should have developed into new habits and something you’ll do without even thinking about it. If not, keep on until it sticks. Then take another couple of things you’d like to change and work on them. When I read Matthew 10:16 that says, “Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves”, I am motivated to live a balanced Christian life by being wise and shrewd in understanding people I meet, even while living as an innocent Christian in the world. To understand others you must know how to read their minds through their unconscious body language expressions.