Scriptural guide to addressing issues with other persons
The Christian love is obtained from God and Him only. This love is a response and a responsibility very unlike a cultural/societal love. With this comes establishing boundaries and foundations in how we are to go about dealing with conflicts with other persons.
Cultural love is often based on a feeling or desire. Christian love is based on a choice and this divine holy love is a free gift from God.
When we enter into near relationships with those in the body of Christ, we will often have conflicts, disagreements or issues that result from these.
Scriptures outline clearly our Christian response is to always be motivated in sincere and genuine love as a premise, a starting point in approaching one another.
Loving Confrontation/Reproof is very Christ-like - Revelation 3:19
To confront another is to bring to light a wrong attitude/action that is harming another or is inflicting negative impact on a body as a whole. It is to challenge a person's ungodly actions/habits as a response to being in fellowship or near relating.
I will briefly list 3 general passages that guide us in how to confront (challenge) a brother/sister and why this becomes necessary to do so.
1) Matthew 7:1-5 We are to judge (discerning, using godly wisdom) with a view to help/build up, not harm/tear down.
Read II Corinthians 12:9; 13:10 for more insight to a couple other passages in prayerfully considering addressing issues with other persons.
It is not our judgment that helps, it is our ability to see clearly, to be sensitively aware of the Spirit in using godly discernment, both how to approach another, but also in selecting the words we use, making sure our manner is one of gentle compassionate caring. And that our motivation is one of genuine love.
2) Galatians 6:1-5 - We are to confront in order to restore - not to distress and not using scripture as a hammer or weapon.
3) Matthew 18:15-17 - We reprove in love (correct, bring back into alignment with God's truth) what is inconsistent with the character of Christ. Col 3:17 cautions us to use a manner that will restore or win a fellow christian in a reconciling means - not to argue, demand or use scriptures to command another.
We must keep in mind the result is not something we can control. Our role and responsibility is to address issues/attitudes that are causing harm either to the person or to a group.
We cannot control the other person(s) response to us and often they will be defensive, angry, or outright attack us in words or otherwise in bringing to their attention something we feel God leading us to address. In this instance we must maintain a spirit of love and learn to let go of any ill response towards us in wanting to remain in a right attitude.
Denying, ignoring or pretending issues do not exist will only further allow wrong attitudes/habits to infect an entire fellowship in skewing god's truth and love as a basis for relating.
We will experience conflicts and issues with other persons and as people of God we must also realize he left us with a godly way of addressing these issues. The most important is that we become Spirit directed in our own attitude. We want to make sure our motivation is sincere, genuine, caring, authentic and that we are demonstrating and manifesting a Christ-centered compassionate love.
It is God's role as the change agent to do the work needing transformed or adjusted. We can help further if we are in a mentoring/discipleship relationship with the person in our one on one meetings with them - this is scriptural and godly.
This exemplifies intercessory love and we want to be mindful to use scriptures with compassionate caring. Just as Christ came to address our need behind our behaviors/attitudes, so we desire to clearly identify and view the internal needs of our brothers/sisters in order to help, assist, guide, direct, confront, challenge, reproof/correct/realign and bring them back into relationship with God as their center.
If we use scriptures and Holy Spirit empowerment as our foundational guides in helping to direct us in our relationships, we will be aligning our own hearts in having a loving response and in developing right ways of being in our interactions with other persons.