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15 Tips for a Better Marriage Part 1 of 5
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1. Pray for your spouse.
Prayer is a very powerful way to show love. When we pray for someone, that is Love in action!
I'm so glad that God is not a legalist, and while we should always show Him respect and honor, it's not the posture of the body that is really important, but the posture of the heart. Focusing on Him and how good He has been to us is most important.
Even more powerful is praying with your spouse. If you're not praying together yet, ask the LORD to give you the timing and the words to approach your spouse about that. Unity is vital in Christian marriage, especially in these turbulent times. Praying together is one of the best and fastest ways to deepen your intimacy.
If my husband and I have a disagreement--which is much more rare now--we talk it out as the LORD leads, or we go to separate places and talk to the LORD first, forgiving each other and asking the LORD for wisdom and the right words. Sometimes I have gone for a "joy ride"--meaning I get in my car and turn up the praise and worship musc, sing along (sometimes VERY loudly), and drive on the interstate for miles and miles, ministering to the LORD as He ministers to me.
We have prayed nightly together before bed for years, but if we have been upset, we have learned to get with God first and get our hearts and minds and words right before trying to pray together. It hasn't always been that way, and the LORD never condemns us. However, if a couple still has lots of negative emotions going on, they can work together to pray and bring those wrong emotions to the LORD together--or chill first and then unite in prayer.
The LORD will guide you. We need His Holy Spirit of Truth every moment of our lives!
Some ministers have recommended holding hands or hugging even when upset. We find that it does help, although it has certainly been a bit awkward at times, since anger or hurt can make us want to run away from the source of that hurt. But we developed the habit years ago of holding hands when we pray. (We also hold hands at church, in the car, on the couch on Date Night when we watch preaching or a really clean, uplifting movie, and more!)
Sometimes we have found it is good to worship or watch a good Bible teaching first, or even go study or do a hobby to readjust our perspective.
2. Watch your wedding video at least once a year. Personally, we watch it every six months, and it was my husband's excellent idea. During the video, we repeat our vows to each other and just remember with grateful awe how the LORD perfectly orchestrated and paid for everything--and that His timing and anointing upon our ceremony (even the rehearsal dinner!) was perfect! Only our loving Daddy God can do that!
I will post more tips in upcoming articles!
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