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I closely observed Dad and my younger sister, Junie, as she presented her case. He was a tough nut, and I doubted Junie would succeed in squeezing ten dollars from him much less a hundred. As a daughter, maybe she would have an advantage I never had. I watched as Dad tuned in to Junie’s desperation and listened to her attentively. His facial expression seemed to alter into an intentionally bland look that revealed nothing.
He quietly said, “Well, I see and understand your predicament, Honey. As your father, I am in a predicament also. Do I just give you money every time you ask or do I teach you to become more self-reliant? Tell me, what do you suppose you could do to earn a hundred dollars?”
“But Dad, I need the money now!” Junie cried out frantically.
I felt for my sister, but couldn’t keep back a smile as I remembered my attempts to get money from Dad. At least he was not showing any favoritism. That was some comfort. I refocused on the tax forms before me.
Last summer I left home to work full time and attend college. Mom, without Dad’s knowledge, sometimes helped with my rent or tuition. However, at nineteen I felt fairly self-sufficient. I thought doing one’s taxes for the first time should include “an induction to adulthood” celebration of some kind. However, nobody seemed to notice the passing of this major milestone. Welcome to adulthood. On the bright side, I was looking forward to receiving another chunk to put into my savings.
Meanwhile, a huffy and teary-eyed Junie stormed off to her room. Dad then turned to me and made a shocking announcement.
“Roger, since you lived here last year, I will be claiming you as a dependent.”
I was stunned and impulsively shot back, “That’s just plain wrong, and you know it. I provided for myself long before I moved out. Don’t you remember when I turned eighteen I started paying you rent? Furthermore, I am counting on those tax refunds so that I can continue to be independent.”
Dad responded as usual with a logical rationale.
“Yes, I understand. What you don’t realize yet, since you don’t have children, is that I receive a much greater financial gain by claiming you as a dependent than you can get by claiming yourself.”
I recognized the mild put down regarding my ignorance and snapped, “Alright then. Claim me as a dependent, and then reimburse the amount due me.”
He unexpectedly went silent. Slowly, his stoic armor seemed to crack, and obvious displeasure peeked through. Apparently, he wanted it all. A few scales on my eyes painfully slid off as I saw my Dad’s heart possibly for the first time.
I continued, “I see this is not okay with you. I will move forward then and file my own taxes. If you claim me as a dependent on yours, then that is on you.”
He remained silent. I left the house.
Some weeks passed before I asked Mom, “Do you know if Dad claimed me on his tax return?”
She quickened her pace about the kitchen and with head bowed said, “Uh…yes. Yes, he did. He doesn’t think there is much risk of being audited. I hope he is right, but I also kind of hope he is wrong.”
With those illuminating words, I seemed to understand my Dad the way my Mom has all along. His presentation as a strict, responsible father during my teen years was a mask. He was far more concerned about money than he was about how he raised his children.
The truth sent my head into a tailspin as I tried to readjust my beliefs about my Dad. Finally, one complete thought came together. So these are the sounds and looks of greed.
My mom continued, “Sometimes I think if someone outside of the family confronted him, he would be forced to face his true condition. You have no idea how hard it is for a mom to watch as I have watched. Roger, promise me that you won’t become like him. It is off balance, and greed only knows to grow. Your heavenly Father gives and withholds. Can you learn from Him instead?
I heard her concerned plea. Instinctively, I wrapped a comforting arm around her tense shoulders and whispered in her ear. “Mom you already taught me. Thank you for sometimes helping me financially. It felt nice to be remembered and loved.”
Her relieved smile brightened the kitchen in a new way. She raised her bowed head and said, “Well blow me over. I guess I did.”
I went on to add, “You know, I think this would be a great time for me to give Junie a hundred dollars. Don’t you agree?”
_____
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