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It's OK to Fall
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If you feel like you're falling apart, fall into my arms. I promise I will catch every little piece of you and I promise I will always love your brokenness. Unknown
Clay Walker - Fall https://youtu.be/kgZJF_UhkSY
Well, when my mother had her first three children I guess she never would have imagined God would give us such a special assignment in life. Several years ago my sister Patty had to love her partner through her battle with breast cancer, and now my sister Debbie and I are living out our own calling. I won't speak for my siblings, but I can say I have never felt more used by God in my life. Has it been fun? of course not; but it has been an amazing opportunity for me to show my Angel how very much she means to me. Last week, she was laying in my arms and said, "I know I am alive because of your prayers." I assume she was referring to when she was in surgery and I pleaded for her life. While that was a heart-felt thing to say, I know better. She is alive because she has a faith in our God like none I have ever known; and she has an army of saints continually bombarding Heaven on her behalf.
Yesterday, for the sixth time I watched Dr. Seago have to give that dreaded news again, that there is another tumor; and for the 6th time she didn't bat an eye. As soon as she got in the car though she just fell asleep. She tries so hard to be strong, but there are times she reaches her limits; and those are the times where my calling comes into place. I knew yesterday, when I had the dream of Janice hanging helplessly from the side of a mountain, and I was holding on for dear life, I didn't have a chance of pulling her up on my own. Of course, the truth is, I would have just fallen with her. I would have never let go of her, and God knows that about me. If He decides to take her, He will have to do just that; because I WILL NOT simply let go. We will fight this battle, side-by-side until VICTORY is proclaimed.
What I found interesting about the dream is, I was holding on with my weak arm. I have had some issues for a while now with my right arm, in the shoulder area. It may be arthritis, all I know is it is very weak and hurts if I bend it back, or put too much strain on it. But God was not about to let either of us fall. Instead He gave me this supernatural ability to not just pull Janice to safety, but to sling her upward like it was nothing. You see, that's how omnipotent (all-powerful) our God is. Things that seem impossible for us, are nothing to our God. (Matthew 19:26) We just have to have faith He will do what He says He will do. I have never been one to put a lot of stock into dreams. But the one I woke up to yesterday gives me great hope. Because, even though this battle may be wearing me down, I have a God who will give me strength to overcome ANY obstacle that stands in our way; and as tiring as it has been for me, it has to be wearing on Janice that much more. She simply needs to know that she does not always have to be strong for us. Because it is ok to just fall and let us catch her, and hold her up until her strength returns.
I want you friends to know how very much your support meant to her yesterday when she posted that picture of herself. With a big smile she said, "that is the most 'likes' and 'comments' I have ever gotten; I sure have a lot of friends." You guys probably just don't realize how very important your support is to us. Just to see how many people have stayed by our side during this 1,248-day battle has been nothing short of a God-send. You keep us encouraged with your thoughtful comments, and we are held upright by your many prayers. We know how extremely blessed we are that God has placed you in our lives, and there is no amount of gratitude we could express to let you know how very appreciative we feel in our hearts. Cancer is a horrible disease, but if anyone can beat it, it is my precious wife. Because, her unshakable faith, and your never-ending support are a winning combination; and just like James 5:16 says, "...pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results."
From my heart to yours!
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