Christian Living
A tumultuous year, personally, I’d like to share some things I’ve learned. Having ended a 24 year marriage, very much unequally yoked and being made to feel I would never “be enough”, has led to some very real self-examination, ultimately resulting in complete surrender with the realization that I was so tired of steering the "ship" alone, living on the edge of my Faith, instead of walking with Christ fully. Perhaps you will find some of this helpful on your own journey and won’t need to run at the brick wall and bounce your head off of it a few thousand times, as I have, to receive the message He is sending you! I will, undoubtedly read this myself many times to refresh my memory on all that began His change in me this past year.
**If I had a nickel for every time I heard, “You are one of the strongest women I know”…I could eliminate human trafficking, world hunger, puppy mills and then eradicate the earth of every terrorist still drawing breath. Believing your own “press” is a huge mistake....you can't get through this life alone.
**The actual source of ALL strength & love comes from only ONE source…GOD! I am His child and failing to lose sight of that leaves you floundering around in your own humanity! Yes, people have DONE things TO me but, I must let go of taking their inventory & focus on my own "stuff"...reflections aren't always pretty but they are necessary! Love, real love, is not about "fixing" anyone else or yourself, it's about putting Christ FIRST & asking Him to make the changes in me & my humanity that are necessary to heal what's hurting others & myself or causing me not to live my life as a reflection of His Word. Others in my life will need to take their own inventory &, with their own free will, make the choice whether to ask for their own changes & healing. I must remember that, through Him, I can make the choice...if, when or how I react in any type of relationship & I must choose love as the basis for any interaction.
**Sometimes, when you've become accustomed to being the one everyone comes to with their problems, you are stubbornly resistant to admit you might actually “need” to “ask” for help when you’re hurting…”no man is an island” & “no one gets out of this alive anyway…make it count”! I am learning to humble myself to admit I'm human…He made me that way! Going to Him & not being afraid to let others help me is NOT a sign of weakness...rather, it is a sign of strength of a life being led by Christ & being loved & loving my brothers & sisters in Christ.
**Instead of asking “Why?”…"Why can't I have what I *want* now?", "Why do people that I give so much to, hurt me?", "Why do I feel so called to do something, yet roadblocks keep stopping me?" After all, Matthew 7:7-11 says, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" It is true, you may think you feel His calling in a situation but instead of asking "Why have I not been able to answer you, Lord, & make this happen?"....consider asking, "What now?"....He has brought you to your current set of circumstances, along with the choices you've made in your free will... ask Him "What now?" "What should I do next?" Instead of believing you are "serving others" simply by doing "good things". Often, we can get weighted down in the big picture of what our humanity feels is "good" or "right" that we are missing His meaning behind what is "good". "He intended it all for good!"....and He has! His Good!!! Despite what we *think* or *want*, it may not be what is "good" for us at all and no Father is going to give you something that is not good for you! If I am headed down the right path, His path, it still doesn't mean there are not things I mustn't learn along the way or that He should not be a part of the ENTIRE Journey, the path He has already planned, not just the result He intends through the gifts He has bestowed on me! If He does not take away hurt or obstacles, then this is a necessary component of what I am to learn and part of His answer to what I am asking for. And, maybe my "good deeds" are self serving & not for His good at all. I am not "entitled" to His outcome. If I am His, I must make the choice to accept His plan, discard my own view & embrace what He is doing on His time frame. So, not "Why?", impatiently stomping my foot, as a child.... But, "Lord, what now? What is it that you are asking of me now?" I have learned this year that what I may be called to do requires growth in my relationship with Him to follow that calling. That only when I lean into Him, allow the Holy Spirit to work in me through each step, only then, is it "Good". One step at a time & beginning each day by surrendering it to Him (even if some days it means surrendering my day to Him every 5 minutes!) is the only way to move on His path for me.
**When someone comes to me with a hurt or a question....I must listen to the person!! What they're saying or what they're asking is not always evident in their words. If I truly LISTEN to the person & keep Him in the conversation, this will allow me to HEAR the person! When I begin speaking too soon, I can miss the actual need they are voicing! I am not required to have the answer but only with Love through Christ can I offer the comfort or support they're actually asking for..."Love each other as I have loved you."[John 15:12]
Ultimately, their answer lies in their own relationship with Christ...but by including Him in the conversation & supporting that relationship, may be all that they need.
**I am His Daughter. Loving as Christ loves, does not mean I am a doormat. I am required by His teaching to confront those who have done wrong to me so that together, in Him, there may be reconciliation. I have never been one to "hate" or "hold grudges" & I forgive whole-heartedly, many times whether there is acknowledgement of the hurt I've been caused or not. I seem to have completely embraced the concept of acceptance, endurance, trust and hope, always trying to see the "Good" or "Godly" qualities in others, this is good but.....I am His, paid for in His blood, & I am not required to pay endless amounts of pain at the hypocritical or self-serving behavior of another, unable to reconcile through Him! Sharing my life with others in Christ does not mean there will never be conflict & by the very nature of the obedience of Christianity, I am tempted to take a subservient position....while this is right, it is never okay if it compromises my relationship with Christ. It is important that, as I look for Christ-like behavior in others, I do not allow them to dull the image of Christ in myself, allowing others to take advantage of kindness or wipe their feet on me... as if I'm insignificant in His eyes. To trust someone with my love and kindness in Christ means they also bear some responsibility to be truthful, honest and loving as well. I would not allow anyone to simply "dismiss" or abuse my child & Christ does not want that for me either. Even the deepest hurts can be healed by taking those hurts to Christ together.
I will close with the thought that now begins each day's reflection &
intentional time with Him when I whisper "Thank you" through tears of happiness at the love I feel.....There is never, ever any situation that gratitude & joy can't be found! Even in difficulty, there is hope & faith (what Gifts!) in the knowledge that I am never alone, & joy in the realization that I have never spent, not one moment, unloved & in the comfort that He will Never leave me and I can never be separated from Him!
May the coming year provide growth in our relationships with Him & each other, that we might slowly change the superficial landscape of humanity to something that can sustain His message & our time here!
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