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How should you talk to children about God? It's a subject most parents would rather avoid, even moreso than talking to their kids about sex and drugs. Should He be presented as the benevolent, white-robed, father figure as He's pictured in so many places? Or should He be presented more conceptually, as an entity that is everywhere, from the top of the world to the very corners of your child's bedroom?
You can delay this conversation for a while, but eventually your child is going to ask such questions as, "Where is God?" "Who are God's parents?" "Does God hear my prayers?" Admit to them if you are confused or if you don't have all the answers. Explain that the God's existence, in any shape or form, is something sacred, and that your household is one where difficult subjects -- such as religion -- are discussed honestly and respectfully.
When talking about God to a very young child, keep the conversation extremely simple: "God loves you. God loves me. God loves Mommy. God even loves the bully at school." Repetition of these simple, yet profound statements, can be extremely important to and supportive of your child.
Studies have shown that nearly all children by age six have formed some concept of God. Ask them what that concept is. But don't let your own concepts erect boundaries around their curiosity, and their capacity to think, dream and imagine. If we do not curtail the conversation by insisting upon our version of the truth, or by sidestepping the issue, children will have the capacity to have their understanding grow.
To teach children about God, tell them Biblical stories, along with stories from your own life. Keep in mind that children are less capable of understanding abstract ideas than understanding concrete ones. Instead of large concepts such as, "God knows everything," you can say things like, "God helps you when you're sad."
Incorporate God into everyday life by telling your kids that God loves them, and that the world is filled with God's awe-inspiring presence.
Allow them to see you praying. They will most likely ask you what you are doing. Very simply, you can tell them that you're having a conversation with God in which you're expressing connection and gratitude, and invite them to pray, as well. Let them know that they can talk to him just the same way they'd talk to another person, and He will be listening to them.
Be prepared to talk when your children are ready to talk. If you mention God and the kids don't seem interested, don't press the issue. When they're ready, they'll find their own pathway to bring the topic back into the conversation.
Children love to praise things and say, "Wow." When something extraordinary or beautiful happens, connect it in some way to God. If you see a hummingbird, say, "That little birdie reminds me of God -- magical and full of colors. If a child shares a toy, say that this is similar to the way that God shares everything, and that He appreciates when we share.
Avoid saying things such as, "God is going to be mad at you for doing that." This casts God as a scary punisher. If you're upset with your child, be clear that you -- not God -- are the one who is angry. Your children already look up to you as though you're God. You need to convince them that you are not even as strong or dependable as God, Himself.
When having a conversation with your child about God, be sure you're not the one doing all the talking. When you find yourself in this predicament, remove yourself from the conversation and try again. Shoot for a 3-to-1 ratio, with the child talking three times as much as you are.
If your concepts are challenged by your child, do not become defensive. Children -- especially adolescents -- may challenge our religious beliefs. This is actually a sign that they're thinking about what's being told to them. When we become upset or defensive, that makes us appear insecure or ill at ease with the very ideas that we profess to believe in deeply.
When reading the Bible, try reading passages regarding families, such as Matthew 10:37, Mark 3:31-35, 1 Corinthians 7, Ephesians 5:21-6:4, and 1 Peter 3:1-7. These sections have much to say about families, and how they live together. Be sure to read and discuss the passages together.
Always thank God before eating. You can use a prayer from a book, or you can devise your own special grace. You can also use one that's illustrated by motions: "God be above us, and God be below us, God be all around us, and God be with our friends."
Let them know that God is all of these things -- and not just at mealtime, either.
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