Short Stories

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Out the corner of my eye I catch the shopkeeper eyeing me.

“Sorry is there a problem?” I ask as I approach the till with my purchase.

“No Sir.” He replies to me. But I can see the look in his eyes as he tries to avoid eye contact.

“No come on what’s the problem?” I ask the elderly Indian man.

“Sir you are a loyal customer. You come in here every night and buy the same thing.”

“And” I ask impatient just to pay and go home, but also wanting him to get to his point.

“Does it help you? Have you found what you are looking for?”

“I did not come in here for small talk.” I snapped thrusting my money out to him.

The shopkeeper took my money and handed me my change.

“Sir,” He began again. “I meant no disrespect but here take this, it might help you, like it helped me when I was looking for answer in the same place you are.” He hands me a brown paper bag which has obviously got a book in side.

Quickly I leave the shop as other customers start to stare and I can feel myself getting angry with the people just for looking at me, judging me by my scruffy clothes and unkempt hair. I dont even thank the shopkeeper for his gift. Nor do I look at the book. Everyone thinks they can help. But I dont want or need help.

Getting home, I close the door behind me and take my purchase out of the bag and break the seal on the bottle taking a big swig from the bottle.

There’s not much in my room to tell you about it has an unmade bed in the corner to the left of the window with mildew and damp across the bottom window sill. An old stereo system sits in the right hand corner on a chest of drawers. There used to be a TV but I sold that so I could get two bottles of drink last week. And last but not least a wonderful high backed chair that had seen better days even before world war two.

This is what I am reduce to a crumby little one room self contained bedsit in a squat. To think two years ago I had a three bedroom house, a car, a job and a wife.

I decide to pull the book from the bag and see what I the shopkeeper meant by being able to find the answers I am looking for.

“The bible.” I mutter to myself. I throw the bible across the room and it lands in the high backed chair.

I will not find the answers I am looking for in there and I laugh to myself taking another drink from the bottle.

I may not find the answers in this bottle but at least it blots out the questions for a while.

Maybe I can sell the book and get some money towards a drink, but I will do that tomorrow.

I walk across the room and switch the radio on and listen to the classical music channel before going over and flopping on the bed. I raise the bottle to my lips for another gulp of refreshing alcohol.
It’s getting easy now I can feel the effects starting on my body.

They work faster on the body if you haven’t had any food to eat all day. And I want the effects to work faster. I can then forget.

Before long I am asleep, another day of my life over with.

“Is that how you wish your life to be? Living one day to the next hoping for the end to come?”

I stir from my slumber at the question.

“Hello,” I call “Whose there?”

“You really should read this book. It’s a great book. Tamel was right. There are a lot of answers in this book.” I notice a figure sitting in the high backed chair holding up the book i had thrown there.

“But do you really want answers. I’m not sure you do. I think you would prefer to wallow in self pity. You think the world is against you dont you Roger. When in fact, it’s just you and your demons, against yourself.”

I roll over and face the wall. Am I dreaming or hallucinating. No one could have gotten into my room the door was still locked.

“The door is still locked and I have not broken in. And you are most definitely not hallucinating or asleep. So please turn back around and face me. Its rude to turn your back on someone when they are talking and I know your mother Gloria raised you better than that.”

I rolled back around and pulled myself up against the headboard.

“How do you know my mother?”

“I thought you would be more worried about how I got into your room Roger. You actually brought me in with you tonight. And your mother she prays for you every night. Now i am answering her prayers.”

The figure said waving the book in his left hand.

“Roger you want answers I will give them to you. But you must answer my questions as well. Does that seem fair to you.”

I nodded, unable or unwilling to tell this stranger to get out of my room.

“When you cheated on your wife, how did they make you feel?”

I refused to answer.

“Oh I see you feel anger at that question. But you felt guilt I know I’m right because I can feel it in you now. So you hid your little secret from your wife. Started staying later at the office so you didn’t have to be around your wife and handle the guilt. Drinking a little bit more each night. You would eventually go home and your wife would smell it on your breath, but not say anything.”
I looked at the stranger before finally finding my voice.

“You dare sit there in judgement on me.” I moved to swing my legs over the bed.

“Roger, I sit in judgement upon everyone. It is not only you I judge but everyone. You also judge yourself. But you also can’t forgive yourself that is what brought you to this wonderful abode. You know your faults. You know your own wrong doings but you cannot face them. The further back you repress them and hide them, then the more of you you hide and lose. I’m here to help you find yourself. Do you believe me?”

I nod to him.

“Like Tamel said to you, you will not find the answer at the bottom of the bottle. You think you will but you won’t. The questions I am asking you are the questions you have been asking of yourself but you drink to block out your pain, the guilt. So in fact within you, you have all the answers you need. Instead of asking the questions of yourself allow me to ask them and believe me the answer will not be so easy to ignore with me around. You drank to hide your guilt at your infidelity. But you drank a little more and more during the months that followed your indiscretion. And then your wife found out didn’t she.”

“I told her. I couldn’t keep it a secret any longer.”

“You thought she would forgive you but she was angry.”

“She hated me.”

“No she never, she was hurt and angry but she never hated you. She never stopped loving you. Even till this day she loves you like she will love no other.”

I look at the stranger.

“This surprises you. You thought you had lost her when she asked you to move out. You drank because you couldn’t bear the thought of being without her and your children, your son Matthew and your daughter Rebecca.”

I looked down to the floor and saw the half drunken bottle of alcohol there within reach.

“Have a drink Roger, go on it will wipe them from your memory tonight like last night and the night before. You think they dont miss you when in fact they miss you every night. Rebecca cries because she misses you kissing her good night. Matthew remembers you coming to the door drunk one night and starting an argument with his mother. But he still misses his father. You dont go to see them because you can’t bear the thought of them looking at you with hurt expressions upon their faces. You can’t bare the fact they might pity you for who you have turned into. You drink to forget the guilt you feel for hurting them. Your friends and family, especially your mother tries to help you and you bat their help away. Who is it that is actually keeping you apart from your friends, your family and your children Roger?”

“Me.” I said in a weak voice. With tears starting to roll down my cheeks.

“Roger. Who lost his job due to excessive drinking?”

“Me.”

“Who passed out on the bench in the park and got arrested?”

“Me.”

“Who got arrested in the high street when he started attacking the cash point machine with a litter bin because your card was swallowed because you had no money left?”

“Me.”

“Who has stolen from their friends to buy booze?”

“Me. Enough okay I get your point.” I snapped at him. The stranger who rises slowly from my chair.

“Roger. Whose fault has it always been?”

“Mine. I know it’s mine. It has always been mine.”

I drop from the bed to the floor looking at the bottle now between my legs.

“Who can change everything and make it all right?”
I hesitate.

I pick up the bottle of alcohol in my hand.

“ME.” And I throw the bottle of alcohol across the room and against the wall.

The figure lays a hand on my shoulder.

“Roger, together we will fight your demons. We will get you back up on your feet. We will make you strong. And I will make you part of not just one family but two families. All the answers you need are in here.” He holds out the book for me to take in my hands. “Now Roger have a thirst for knowledge. Have a thirst for the greatness that is inside you. Have a thirst for life. But you will never again have a thirst for alcohol I promise you this. Say that you need me and we will do it together. I will be with you.”

“LORD I need you, now more than ever. Please help me.”

Tears stream down my face as the man lifts me to my full height and embraces me and whispers in my ear that he loves me and always has.




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“It has been a tough year. I won’t lie. It’s been hard. I have struggle every day fighting against myself but I am winning. I’m not yet living back with my wife. But we are dating again even though we are married I want to prove to her i have changed. We go out every weekend with the children and they are calling me dad. Nothing beats hearing the word dad from your children.

But it’s been a year since I have touched a drop of alcohol and I now have a job. Here helping you. I know you can all do the same I have faith in all of you. So I will see you all the same time next week here okay.

Remember we are all here to help and support one another and the LORD is your strength. If you have any problems and think you are going fall and take a drink. Ring me I’m here for you all. I always pray each and every night for every single one of you.”

“Thanks roger.” The people in the alcohol treatment session said almost in unison. Some give me handshakes or hugs.

I put the notes I have taken during the session into my bag and notice the book Tamel gave me and I remember the night the LORD not only came into my room but into my life.

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