
Pacific Coast Rest-Stop
Moderators: RedBaron, cori67, Shann
Re: Pacific Coast Rest-Stop
Come out and play Shari!!! 

Shann
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Sometimes God calms the storm; Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child
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Sometimes God calms the storm; Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child
- Toni Hammer
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Re: Pacific Coast Rest-Stop
Awww. Thanks for the shout out, Shann. The past two weeks retroactively make up for the thing I wrote this week. I'm scared to throw a brick when the time comes.
And I second the kudos to Rachel. She's inspired me to write a story without a conclusive ending. Maybe not this week, but soon.

And I second the kudos to Rachel. She's inspired me to write a story without a conclusive ending. Maybe not this week, but soon.
Praise be to the Lord my Rock,
who trains my hands for war,
my fingers for battle.
--Psalm 144:1
http://www.tonihammer.com
who trains my hands for war,
my fingers for battle.
--Psalm 144:1
http://www.tonihammer.com
Re: Pacific Coast Rest-Stop
Congratulations, Toni! That is so awesome that you got a first place and an EC!!
Jan challenged me to write something dark. I think I went too far! It was 1850 words before I started trimming. The story was just too complex to try and cram into 750 words, but it was an interesting experiment, and I've lost my fear of writing about something ugly.
I thought about wrapping the end up all nice, but it just didn't seem real.


Jan challenged me to write something dark. I think I went too far! It was 1850 words before I started trimming. The story was just too complex to try and cram into 750 words, but it was an interesting experiment, and I've lost my fear of writing about something ugly.
I thought about wrapping the end up all nice, but it just didn't seem real.
My FaithWriters profile: RachelM FW member profile
Re: Pacific Coast Rest-Stop
I'm glad you didn't Rachel, too many people make the mistake of tying stories into a neat little Bow. I used to routinely cut a thousand dollars words or more from my stories. I've gotten better though.
Shann
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Sometimes God calms the storm; Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child
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Sometimes God calms the storm; Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child
- JesusPuppy
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Re: Pacific Coast Rest-Stop
!800 is about normal for me. I had one I could not get enough cut off and wound up having to place it in the general submitions instead. I think the hardest one to cut back on mine (besides that one) was 2300. At least I saved the original for later. "Beyond the Mirror" turned in to a rather long piece. 

....JesusPuppy (or just call me Pup) 
And just for the record, I am a Male.
"I am a writer, I do NOT lie... I fictionalise." JP
"The Lord Bless thee, and keep thee.." Num. 6:24
JesusPuppy Profile
Cypress Times, online Christian news paper.

And just for the record, I am a Male.
"I am a writer, I do NOT lie... I fictionalise." JP
"The Lord Bless thee, and keep thee.." Num. 6:24
JesusPuppy Profile
Cypress Times, online Christian news paper.
Re: Pacific Coast Rest-Stop
Toni, I noticed you received a lot of constructive critiques. Did it discourage you or make you think you didn't belong her or did you see it as a genuine desire to help you move from a fantastic writer to an outstanding one. Even if you didn't agree with the points made, did it help you because you needed to process it and decide what was best for you?
Please be honest. If it's easier you could PM if you don't want your answers for all to see.
Please be honest. If it's easier you could PM if you don't want your answers for all to see.
Shann
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Sometimes God calms the storm; Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child
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Sometimes God calms the storm; Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child
- Toni Hammer
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Re: Pacific Coast Rest-Stop
Ya know, it's funny. Lynn sent me a similar message about how much red ink I got this week. You guys are so sweet.
It doesn't bother me. I think about every comment made. If I agree with the feedback I do my best to implement it in future writings. If I think someone was just grasping at straws then I'll just move on. For instannce, you telling me chitchat is one word will stay with for-e-ver.
I sincrely appreciate anyone willing to read what I write, let alone leave feedback. I've been so overwhelemd the past few weeks by all the positive comments I've received. I didn't think my writing was all that great--just friends and family blowing smoke if you will.
I think if all I received was red ink comments on something, my ego would take a hit, but it's sprinkled it amongst very kind support so I'll take it.
It doesn't bother me. I think about every comment made. If I agree with the feedback I do my best to implement it in future writings. If I think someone was just grasping at straws then I'll just move on. For instannce, you telling me chitchat is one word will stay with for-e-ver.

I think if all I received was red ink comments on something, my ego would take a hit, but it's sprinkled it amongst very kind support so I'll take it.
Praise be to the Lord my Rock,
who trains my hands for war,
my fingers for battle.
--Psalm 144:1
http://www.tonihammer.com
who trains my hands for war,
my fingers for battle.
--Psalm 144:1
http://www.tonihammer.com
- JesusPuppy
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Re: Pacific Coast Rest-Stop
Yeah it is when you get all rave and praise, and then you read it again and find outstanding mistakes that no one said a thing about.. thats when you need to worry. 

....JesusPuppy (or just call me Pup) 
And just for the record, I am a Male.
"I am a writer, I do NOT lie... I fictionalise." JP
"The Lord Bless thee, and keep thee.." Num. 6:24
JesusPuppy Profile
Cypress Times, online Christian news paper.

And just for the record, I am a Male.
"I am a writer, I do NOT lie... I fictionalise." JP
"The Lord Bless thee, and keep thee.." Num. 6:24
JesusPuppy Profile
Cypress Times, online Christian news paper.
Re: Pacific Coast Rest-Stop
That's how I feel. Some people or most people only give fluff, even on horrible pieces (no Pup I'm not talking about you) people will say they love it. Now if I tell you I love something, people tend to believe it. No matter what, there are always positive things to say about each piece and I always start and end with compliments.
Shann
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Sometimes God calms the storm; Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child
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Sometimes God calms the storm; Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child
- Toni Hammer
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Re: Pacific Coast Rest-Stop
Yeah, I'd be nervous if all I got was happy compliments. I'm still new to offering feedback and am struggling a bit. I was trying to say something nice about every piece I read, but sometimes an article just doesn't work for me. Now if I really like something I comment with the specific reason(s) why. If I didn't "get it" I just don't comment. If i have some red ink comments, I normally limit those to possible typos and/or punctuation errors. Since I haven't been writing "competitively" for long I don't feel I have the proper ability to critique sentence structure, tone, etc.
Praise be to the Lord my Rock,
who trains my hands for war,
my fingers for battle.
--Psalm 144:1
http://www.tonihammer.com
who trains my hands for war,
my fingers for battle.
--Psalm 144:1
http://www.tonihammer.com
Re: Pacific Coast Rest-Stop
Everyone says that and my answer is you may have been writing for only a bit, but you likely have been reading since you were five. After all that's who we need to please the reader, not other writers. I learned the most when I challenged myself to read and comment on every entry. I can't do it all the time, but it makes a difference when I can. I always start with a positive then a constructive (if I see it and feel God leading me to leave it) Then end on a positive. I'll go through the criteria the judges use: beginning, ending, crafting, on topic, clear message or point, transitions and I'm forgetting one.
Shann
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Sometimes God calms the storm; Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child
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Sometimes God calms the storm; Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child
- Allison
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Re: Pacific Coast Rest-Stop
Actually, you're forgetting two.Shann wrote:Everyone says that and my answer is you may have been writing for only a bit, but you likely have been reading since you were five. After all that's who we need to please the reader, not other writers. I learned the most when I challenged myself to read and comment on every entry. I can't do it all the time, but it makes a difference when I can. I always start with a positive then a constructive (if I see it and feel God leading me to leave it) Then end on a positive. I'll go through the criteria the judges use: beginning, ending, crafting, on topic, clear message or point, transitions and I'm forgetting one.

Isaiah 40:30-31 (NIV)
Re: Pacific Coast Rest-Stop
I knew the publishable one, but don't use it for myself and thought flow was part of transitions.
It's nice to see you pop in though. It's been a while
I need to go to bed but have so much to do
It's nice to see you pop in though. It's been a while

I need to go to bed but have so much to do
Shann
Shann's Profile
Sometimes God calms the storm; Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child
Shann's Profile
Sometimes God calms the storm; Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child
- Allison
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Re: Pacific Coast Rest-Stop
Actually... you're right. I just didn't catch "transitions." To me, though, flow is slightly different from transitions. You can have great transitions and yet have poor "flow" within each section, if that makes sense. And it is technically "flow." So it's pretty much the same, but... not quite? lolShann wrote:I knew the publishable one, but don't use it for myself and thought flow was part of transitions.
It's nice to see you pop in though. It's been a while![]()
I need to go to bed but have so much to do
And I need to go to bed too.
Isaiah 40:30-31 (NIV)
- Toni Hammer
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Re: Pacific Coast Rest-Stop
Go to bed, you silly ladies!
I'm headed there myself after I edit my submission for this week three or four hundred times.

Praise be to the Lord my Rock,
who trains my hands for war,
my fingers for battle.
--Psalm 144:1
http://www.tonihammer.com
who trains my hands for war,
my fingers for battle.
--Psalm 144:1
http://www.tonihammer.com