#13--The Well-Crafted Short Story

These lessons, by one of our most consistent FaithWriters' Challenge Champions, should not be missed. So we're making a permanent home for them here.

Moderators: mikeedwards, RedBaron, glorybee, mikeedwards, RedBaron, glorybee, mikeedwards, RedBaron, glorybee

User avatar
honeyrock
Pencil 1 (1-49 Posts)
Pencil 1 (1-49 Posts)
Posts: 29
Joined: Tue Apr 28, 2009 2:18 pm
Location: San Diego, California

Post by honeyrock »

Oh, yes, I see! and I wont tell you how long I fiddled with that phrase! Your encouragements mean the world! And the story was a "snippet" I actually lived to tell about - :lol:
Be strong and very courageous Joshua 1:7
lthomas
Pencil 2 (50-99 Posts)
Pencil 2 (50-99 Posts)
Posts: 75
Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2008 11:53 am
Location: Just north of Seattle

Post by lthomas »

No homework from me yet, Jan. But in response to your question regarding building a good short story, I've read that most readers will get through the first 4/5 of the story only to be let down by the conclusion.

I don't know why this is, possibly it's due to poor plotting, not really having the elements of a beginning and a middle that builds to a meaningful climax. Maybe the ending is too convenient (the MC awoke to find it was all only a dream) or simply too predictable.

As you are pointing out the importance of grammar, punctuation, dialogue and characters, I think such things as poor plotting can ruin a good story just as easily.

Loren
"And this, our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything." From "As You Like It." Wm. Shakespeare.
glorybee
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 2356
Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2005 11:46 pm
Location: Michigan

Post by glorybee »

Thanks, Loren! I wholeheartedly agree, and I'll be covering plotting in more detail in the coming weeks.
Jan Ackerson -- Follow me, friend me, give me a wave!
http://www.superioreditingservice.com
Twitter: @janackerson1
Instagram: janackerson
Facebook: Jan Worgul Ackerson, Superior Editing Service, Jan Ackerson, writer
User avatar
eireann
Pencil 1 (1-49 Posts)
Pencil 1 (1-49 Posts)
Posts: 26
Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2005 1:25 pm
Location: Texas
Contact:

Post by eireann »

Jan, what I want to know is:
a)Did you go to the store?
b) Did you get your chocolate cake?
c) Was it delicious?
:mrgreen:
Writing and editing services http://inksnatcher.com
My blog http://inksnatcher.com/blog
FW writing profile page http://www.faithwriters.com/member-profile.php?id=10600
Husband's fashion photography http://hananexposures.com
glorybee
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 2356
Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2005 11:46 pm
Location: Michigan

Post by glorybee »

Sally, the answer to all of your questions is no, accampanied by a pout.
Jan Ackerson -- Follow me, friend me, give me a wave!
http://www.superioreditingservice.com
Twitter: @janackerson1
Instagram: janackerson
Facebook: Jan Worgul Ackerson, Superior Editing Service, Jan Ackerson, writer
Amanda1991
Pencil 2 (50-99 Posts)
Pencil 2 (50-99 Posts)
Posts: 76
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2010 10:39 pm
Location: Iowa
Contact:

Post by Amanda1991 »

Since joining Faithwriters, I've been working a lot on showing rather than telling. I think that sometimes, describing a character's thoughts can be necessary in telling a story. (Which should be done very carefully.) However, most of what needs to be conveyed can be done better in showing -- especially in a Writing Challenge entry.

Also, "showing" allows the reader to think for themselves rather have every detail explained to them. It engages them, urging them to fit together pieces of a puzzle by examining the actions and dialogue of the characters. Which makes the story more fun for the writer and the reader. :mrgreen:

Sentence structure has always been a pet peeve of mine. In my writing, as I'm proofreading, if I discover that a certain sentence structure has been overused, I try to shake it up a bit.

This is an invaluable lesson! I find that although I somehow made it to Advanced (by God's grace), I need to work on all the topics that you covered as much as anyone. ;)
"I am sure that some are born to write as trees are born to bear leaves." ~ C.S. Lewis

"I write for the same reason I breathe – because if I didn't I would die." ~ Isaac Asimov

My FW Profile

Facebook

Follow the Fanatic on Twitter
WriterFearNot
Pencil 2 (50-99 Posts)
Pencil 2 (50-99 Posts)
Posts: 68
Joined: Thu Mar 18, 2010 6:45 pm
Location: Southern California
Contact:

Show not tell

Post by WriterFearNot »

Tell:

Shark Boy didn't know it yet, but he was in love with Lava Girl and would soon wish to spend an eternity with her.

Show:
Raging bursts of flame flowed from Lava Girl's palms. Shark boy had seen this before, but this time it was different.

"You saved me," he said, not willing to remove his eyes from hers. His stomach was fluttery and he couldn't shake the feeling of wanting to stay near her. "I'm not sure what's happening to me," he said, "But I don't want it to end."

PS: The movie 'SharkBoy and LavaGirl' is playing on the tv in the background, so I kinda cheated here.

WFN :lol:
Amanda1991
Pencil 2 (50-99 Posts)
Pencil 2 (50-99 Posts)
Posts: 76
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2010 10:39 pm
Location: Iowa
Contact:

Re: Show not tell

Post by Amanda1991 »

WriterFearNot wrote:Tell:

Shark Boy didn't know it yet, but he was in love with Lava Girl and would soon wish to spend an eternity with her.

Show:
Raging bursts of flame flowed from Lava Girl's palms. Shark boy had seen this before, but this time it was different.

"You saved me," he said, not willing to remove his eyes from hers. His stomach was fluttery and he couldn't shake the feeling of wanting to stay near her. "I'm not sure what's happening to me," he said, "But I don't want it to end."

PS: The movie 'SharkBoy and LavaGirl' is playing on the tv in the background, so I kinda cheated here.

WFN :lol:
HaHa! I was gonna say, "Somebody likes kid superhero movies!" :D Great job with the showing rather than telling. Love it. 8)
"I am sure that some are born to write as trees are born to bear leaves." ~ C.S. Lewis

"I write for the same reason I breathe – because if I didn't I would die." ~ Isaac Asimov

My FW Profile

Facebook

Follow the Fanatic on Twitter
glorybee
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 2356
Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2005 11:46 pm
Location: Michigan

Post by glorybee »

Definitely showing, not telling. Am I showing my age if I tell you that I've never heard of Shark Girl and Lava Boy?
Jan Ackerson -- Follow me, friend me, give me a wave!
http://www.superioreditingservice.com
Twitter: @janackerson1
Instagram: janackerson
Facebook: Jan Worgul Ackerson, Superior Editing Service, Jan Ackerson, writer
WriterFearNot
Pencil 2 (50-99 Posts)
Pencil 2 (50-99 Posts)
Posts: 68
Joined: Thu Mar 18, 2010 6:45 pm
Location: Southern California
Contact:

Sharkboy and Lavagirl

Post by WriterFearNot »

Jan,

Consider yourself lucky, for never having seen or heard of this movie.

WFN :D
Amanda1991
Pencil 2 (50-99 Posts)
Pencil 2 (50-99 Posts)
Posts: 76
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2010 10:39 pm
Location: Iowa
Contact:

Post by Amanda1991 »

Yeah, it was created based on a little boy's imagination, so it's extremely crazy. :D
"I am sure that some are born to write as trees are born to bear leaves." ~ C.S. Lewis

"I write for the same reason I breathe – because if I didn't I would die." ~ Isaac Asimov

My FW Profile

Facebook

Follow the Fanatic on Twitter
User avatar
grandmalovesbabies
Pencil 3 (100-149 Posts)
Pencil 3 (100-149 Posts)
Posts: 148
Joined: Mon Apr 07, 2008 8:45 pm
Location: Omaha, NE

Post by grandmalovesbabies »

Telling: Laura was awake all night with her crying daughter. She was exhausted from walking the hall for hours.

Showing: Tripping over her bunny-slippered feet, Laura stopped to lean against the hallway wall. With little Susie still threshing in her arms, Laura squeezed the infant snuggly while heavy eyelids involuntarily closed.
In the twilight of my years, may His Light shine more brightly.

THRILLED TO BE A 500 MEMBER!

lolliehofer.blogspot.com
lolliehofer.wordpress.com
lolliehofer.wix/lollie-hofer
http://www.faithwriters.com/member-profile.php?id=33832
User avatar
grandmalovesbabies
Pencil 3 (100-149 Posts)
Pencil 3 (100-149 Posts)
Posts: 148
Joined: Mon Apr 07, 2008 8:45 pm
Location: Omaha, NE

Re: Show not tell

Post by grandmalovesbabies »

Amanda1991 wrote:
WriterFearNot wrote:Tell:

Shark Boy didn't know it yet, but he was in love with Lava Girl and would soon wish to spend an eternity with her.

Show:
Raging bursts of flame flowed from Lava Girl's palms. Shark boy had seen this before, but this time it was different.

"You saved me," he said, not willing to remove his eyes from hers. His stomach was fluttery and he couldn't shake the feeling of wanting to stay near her. "I'm not sure what's happening to me," he said, "But I don't want it to end."

PS: The movie 'SharkBoy and LavaGirl' is playing on the tv in the background, so I kinda cheated here.

WFN :lol:
HaHa! I was gonna say, "Somebody likes kid superhero movies!" :D Great job with the showing rather than telling. Love it. 8)

FUNNY. The grandkids and I just watched this movie yesterday. I thought we were the only ones goofy enough to enjoy it. Glad to see there are other strange folks out there too.
In the twilight of my years, may His Light shine more brightly.

THRILLED TO BE A 500 MEMBER!

lolliehofer.blogspot.com
lolliehofer.wordpress.com
lolliehofer.wix/lollie-hofer
http://www.faithwriters.com/member-profile.php?id=33832
User avatar
FirstLove
Pencil 1 (1-49 Posts)
Pencil 1 (1-49 Posts)
Posts: 16
Joined: Sat Apr 16, 2011 11:38 am
Location: Kansas

Re: #13--The Well-Crafted Short Story

Post by FirstLove »

:shock: Oh, my...reading through these posts...I have so much to LEARN. Well, i'm just going to continue entering the Writer's Challenge, and expect to learn from them. If i wait to write until I know more, I'll be 90 before I enter another challenge. :book2

:(

Love,
Debbie

Thanks for all these interesting posts!
Debra (Debbie) Hindman

Luke 1:3 Amp.
"...It seemed good and desirable to me, [and so I have determined] also after having searched out diligently and followed all things closely and traced accurately the course from the highest to the minutest detail from the very first, to write an orderly account for you, most excellent Theophilus..."

http://starvenuscrochet.blogspot.com/
I am DebraKay2010 on Ravelry.com if you are a member there.
http://www.ravelry.com/projects/debrakay2010
User avatar
FirstLove
Pencil 1 (1-49 Posts)
Pencil 1 (1-49 Posts)
Posts: 16
Joined: Sat Apr 16, 2011 11:38 am
Location: Kansas

Re: #13--The Well-Crafted Short Story

Post by FirstLove »

After writing for my third challenge, I am back to learn some more...

Perusing these lessons helped me refine my second challenge entry!

I love reading these threads!

So helpful!
:bow
Love,
Debbie
Debra (Debbie) Hindman

Luke 1:3 Amp.
"...It seemed good and desirable to me, [and so I have determined] also after having searched out diligently and followed all things closely and traced accurately the course from the highest to the minutest detail from the very first, to write an orderly account for you, most excellent Theophilus..."

http://starvenuscrochet.blogspot.com/
I am DebraKay2010 on Ravelry.com if you are a member there.
http://www.ravelry.com/projects/debrakay2010
Post Reply

Return to “Jan's Writing Basics”