Be a Better Writer--USING IMAGERY

These lessons, by one of our most consistent FaithWriters' Challenge Champions, should not be missed. So we're making a permanent home for them here.

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wheelygirl58
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Re: Be a Better Writer--USING IMAGERY

Post by wheelygirl58 » Fri Oct 10, 2014 5:53 pm

Here are my two sentences:
Anne had seen the lovely bird land on its owner's shoulder.
Anne had seen the iridescent green and crimson feathered parrot, fly onto its owner's leather-covered shoulder.

From John Steinbeck's "East of Eden"---
"On the wide level acres of the valley the topsoil. It required only a rich winter of rain to make break forth in grass and flowers. The spring flowers in a wet year were unbelievable. The whole valley floor, and the foothills too, would be carpeted with lupins and poppies."
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28 This is,another of my life verses!!

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glorybee
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Re: Be a Better Writer--USING IMAGERY

Post by glorybee » Fri Oct 10, 2014 9:12 pm

wheelygirl58 wrote:Here are my two sentences:
Anne had seen the lovely bird land on its owner's shoulder.
Anne had seen the iridescent green and crimson feathered parrot, fly onto its owner's leather-covered shoulder.

From John Steinbeck's "East of Eden"---
"On the wide level acres of the valley the topsoil. It required only a rich winter of rain to make break forth in grass and flowers. The spring flowers in a wet year were unbelievable. The whole valley floor, and the foothills too, would be carpeted with lupins and poppies."
Wheelygirl, just be careful not to rely too much on adjectives to achieve imagery. Great nouns are often better. The excerpt from Steinbeck has only seven adjectives (wide, level, rich, spring, wet, unbelievable, whole), and of those only a few truly add to the imagery. It's his nouns (valley, topsoil, rain, grass, flowers, floor, foothills, lupins, poppies) that really make the rich imagery of these sentences.

Adding iridescent, green, crimson, and feathered and don't really add anything substantive to your sentences; 'parrot' usually calls those images to mind. "Leather-covered" works for me, because it adds new information about the bird-owner.

But if you'd added something about the sound of the bird, or the way its claws dug into the shoulder of the bird-owner, or even the feel of the breeze of the birds flapping wings, that would be some additional imagery.

Got any follow-up questions?
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wheelygirl58
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Re: Be a Better Writer--USING IMAGERY

Post by wheelygirl58 » Sat Oct 11, 2014 1:44 pm

:thankssign :thankssign bunches! I so aspire to write in a similar style as Mr. Steinbeck, in my own story; your instructions has helped big-time! I need to be be more bold with nouns, within my own products. :)
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28 This is,another of my life verses!!

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Re: Be a Better Writer--USING IMAGERY

Post by JudySauer » Fri Sep 11, 2015 12:13 pm

USING IMAGERY HOMEWORK:

1. Write pair of sentences…

• Denise was devastated to hear again that she cannot yet be diagnosed. She keeps getting the same message for twenty years. She cannot take not knowing any longer.
• With a sense of entitlement, Denise went to her doctor appointment with high expectations. As a medical mystery, she struggles to find peace with no answers.

• Karla enjoys using FaceTime to connect with her daughter and granddaughter who lives in another state.
• Karla delights in hearing the squeals of her granddaughter. She has a precious giggle. Karla savors the blown kisses as the toddler says “Muah” with her tiny hand covering the mouth and sends the kisses on their way to Karla.

About the process: Writing with imagery stretched my mind to find creative ways to convey a story. It took a bit of time for the words to come, yet when they did, the message was a delightful read rather than something boring.
________________________________________
2. Link to something I’ve written using imagery

This is a story I wrote in 2007 and is full of imagery.
Hey God, got a flashlight?
http://www.faithwriters.com/article-det ... ?id=166538
________________________________________
3. Share example of imagery from someone whose writing I admire

Hinds' Feet on High Places, by Hannah Hurnard, page 225
He was there—standing on the peak—just as she had known he would be, strong and grand and glorious in the beauty of the sunrise, holding out both hands and calling to her with a great laugh, “You—with the hinds’ feet—jump over here.”
________________________________________
4. Comment or question about imagery.

I am drawn into the story by the guided images that bring stories to life.
________________________________________
Mercy, peace, and love be yours in abundance. -Jude 2 NIV

Judy Sauer
http://www.faithwriters.com/member-profile.php?id=23323

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glorybee
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Re: Be a Better Writer--USING IMAGERY

Post by glorybee » Fri Sep 11, 2015 12:47 pm

JudySauer wrote:
1. Write pair of sentences…

• Denise was devastated to hear again that she cannot yet be diagnosed. She keeps getting the same message for twenty years. She cannot take not knowing any longer.
• With a sense of entitlement, Denise went to her doctor appointment with high expectations. As a medical mystery, she struggles to find peace with no answers.

• Karla enjoys using FaceTime to connect with her daughter and granddaughter who lives in another state.
• Karla delights in hearing the squeals of her granddaughter. She has a precious giggle. Karla savors the blown kisses as the toddler says “Muah” with her tiny hand covering the mouth and sends the kisses on their way to Karla.

About the process: Writing with imagery stretched my mind to find creative ways to convey a story. It took a bit of time for the words to come, yet when they did, the message was a delightful read rather than something boring.
Judy, thanks for doing all of the homework! A lot of people only do one or two of the suggested exercises (which is fine), so you really went above and beyond.

In your two sentences about Karla's granddaughter, the second one has far more imagery, just as in my examples. Well done!

In the first two pairs, however, I don't really see additional imagery in your second sentence, except perhaps the word 'struggles.' To add more imagery, you could describe how those struggles feel to Denise, or what she looks like when she's struggling. Something like...

Denise marched into her doctor's office and slammed a file full of papers on his desk. She stood with arms crossed, waiting for him to speak. Surely the answers were there this time. When he looked up and cleared his throat, she raised a skeptical eyebrow.

Do you see the difference there?
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JudySauer
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Re: Be a Better Writer--USING IMAGERY

Post by JudySauer » Fri Sep 11, 2015 4:00 pm

Yes, Jan, I see a world of difference. Appears I have a lot of learning to become a better writer.

Thanks for the lessons.

Judy
Mercy, peace, and love be yours in abundance. -Jude 2 NIV

Judy Sauer
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