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TRIOLET

Posted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 8:04 am
by Colswann1
Hi Jan - my attempt:

Nature's Callousness

A frog's life, gone, and no one cared,
The pond was now still and lone,
Just tiny creatures who had shared,
A frog's life, gone, and no one cared.

The mate whose life the male had paired,
To new urges now was prone,
A frog's life, gone, and no one cared,
The pond was now still and lone.

Colin

Posted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 8:49 am
by glorybee
Steve, you make me laugh.

Re: TRIOLET

Posted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 8:50 am
by glorybee
Colswann1 wrote:Hi Jan - my attempt:

Nature's Callousness

A frog's life, gone, and no one cared,
The pond was now still and lone,
Just tiny creatures who had shared,
A frog's life, gone, and no one cared.

The mate whose life the male had paired,
To new urges now was prone,
A frog's life, gone, and no one cared,
The pond was now still and lone.

Colin
Colin, what on earth inspired you to write about a frog? This is utterly charming (but a bit sad for poor froggy...)

Posted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 9:08 am
by Colswann1
Hi Jan - I have a pond in my garden and my grandson loved to spot the frogs (and often pointed them out to us) we could never spot them. But sadly none have been around for awhile, but then my grandson is growing up and lives in a different part of the country and is now engaged - so we haven't got our spotter any more.

So we miss the frogs and the pond must be lonely without them - but we have plently of fish to look at (maybe I'll write about them next).

Colin

Posted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 9:43 pm
by swfdoc1
swfdoc1 wrote:
swfdoc1 wrote: Did you take “willing” to mean “agreeable” or “exerting the will” or one of each?
glorybee wrote:One of each, I think.
Any other takers before I reveal the answer?
OK, long enough. It was a trick question. They were both intended to be diberate double entendres/ambiguities for the reader.

By the way, is it my imagination or have we had fewer triolet writers than writers of the other forms? Where are all the NaNo procrastinators?

Posted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 9:46 pm
by glorybee
This is the first one that's even slightly tricky, especially to poetry beginners. Maybe I've made it too challenging?

Or it could be the NaNo pressure.

Posted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 9:58 pm
by swfdoc1
glorybee wrote:This is the first one that's even slightly tricky, especially to poetry beginners. Maybe I've made it too challenging?

Or it could be the NaNo pressure.
I think you explained it very clearly. Could be NaNo or the form itself. Or maybe people are struggling with Yellow. Maybe we'll get more after tomorrow morning.

Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 1:11 pm
by violin4jesus
I'm lying in bed but I just cannot sleep
My mind fretting over the things to be done
A pause in my day but I'm not dreaming deep
I'm lying in bed but I just cannot sleep

My time is so precious; I don't count it cheap
If rested, I'd have strength for moments of fun
I'm lying in bed but I still cannot sleep
My mind wanders over the things to be done


:?


I know you can relate, Jan. I wish I didn't have to take drugs to sleep at night. I didn't last night, so I get to be exhausted all day today. At least there's Starbucks!

Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 7:57 pm
by beff
Jan, I've never studied/read/tried this form... and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it, the way it flows, the repeated message lines.

My poem (like all my poems) is a TRUE account. (ok, I grossly exaggerated that.) :) ... but this is true

Incessant pawing by the dog,
She needs to go outside.
Yet here I sit, my brain, a fog,
Incessant pawing by the dog.

Her wish, that to the door I'll jog,
Her urgency will not subside.
Incessant pawing by the dog,
She needs to go outside.



(...and without further delay, I'm headed to the door). :)

Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 9:17 pm
by glorybee
violin4jesus wrote:I'm lying in bed but I just cannot sleep
My mind fretting over the things to be done
A pause in my day but I'm not dreaming deep
I'm lying in bed but I just cannot sleep

My time is so precious; I don't count it cheap
If rested, I'd have strength for moments of fun
I'm lying in bed but I still cannot sleep
My mind wanders over the things to be done
High five to my insomnia sister! Really clever triolet, Leah!

Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 9:18 pm
by glorybee
beff wrote:Incessant pawing by the dog,
She needs to go outside.
Yet here I sit, my brain, a fog,
Incessant pawing by the dog.

Her wish, that to the door I'll jog,
Her urgency will not subside.
Incessant pawing by the dog,
She needs to go outside.



(...and without further delay, I'm headed to the door). :)
Oh, Beth, I hope you made it on time!

I'd love to see you do a chain of triolets for one of your charming story poems. Yes?

Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 9:32 pm
by beff
glorybee wrote:Oh, Beth, I hope you made it on time!
We made it on time. :)
glorybee wrote:I'd love to see you do a chain of triolets for one of your charming story poems. Yes?
That thought did cross my mind. It's a wonderful poetry form. I will keep it on a burner (maybe back, maybe front). We'll see! :)

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 12:46 pm
by Kid Denver
A golden bowl in twilight’s gleam
Reflects the day’s remaining life
A dying breed of sunlit streams
A golden bowl in twilight’s gleam.
With folded hands in evening dream
Forbid the night’s resurgent strife
A golden bowl in twilight’s gleam
Reflects the day’s remaining life

Henry C.

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 4:19 pm
by glorybee
Henry, I need a recording of that, on a loop, to listen to in my insomniac hours. It's beautiful, serene, and well, just perfect.

Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 8:02 pm
by Allison
1. your first line (a)
2. your second line (b)
3. your third line (a) which rhymes with line 1
4. repeat of line 1
5. your fifth line (a) which rhymes with line 1
6. your sixth line (b) which rhymes with line 2
7. repeat of line 1 (a)
8. repeat of line 2 (b)

I will ever praise the Lord,
He has always been my guide.
Whether facing strife or sword,
I will ever praise the Lord.

He is worshiped and adored
Even when my path's not wide.
I will ever praise the Lord,
He has always been my guide.


I think I have some phrasing/sentence structure issues with this one.