Search found 21 matches

by Toni Star
Tue Feb 09, 2010 5:08 pm
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Jan's Writing Basics #4: Overusing Exclamation Points
Replies: 62
Views: 40345

Reply to Lesson on Exclamation points

It was one in the morning and the sky was dark and a fog began to form. Jan was coming home from a late shift and she was finding it hard to see the road ahead of her. As she approached a four way stop, she saw a deer to the right of her plunge forward. She cried, "Dear Lord, help me!" Seconds later...
by Toni Star
Mon Feb 01, 2010 8:49 am
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Jan's Writing Basics #3: Choosing a Tense and Sticking to It
Replies: 81
Views: 48409

From what I can tell...

Yes, from what I can tell the action words were in the past tense and other times in the present tense...

Will see what Jan says..Could be wrong. Taking an educated guess..

Toni
by Toni Star
Mon Feb 01, 2010 8:07 am
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Jan's Writing Basics #3: Choosing a Tense and Sticking to It
Replies: 81
Views: 48409

The biggest error...

The biggest error that I found was the misuse of tense. Sometimes the words were in the present tense; other times they were in the past tense.

Toni
by Toni Star
Tue Jan 26, 2010 5:01 pm
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Jan's New "Class"--Writing Basics
Replies: 115
Views: 64911

Thanks Jan...

Thanks Jan, for your guidance and help! Feels good to be on the right track...

Toni
by Toni Star
Mon Jan 25, 2010 5:42 pm
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Jan's New "Class"--Writing Basics
Replies: 115
Views: 64911

Will take another try...

Thought I'd try again with a different book.."Hideaway" by Dean Koontz: "But the slide became a sickening spin, and the Honda rotated three hundred and sixty degrees, as if it were a carousel without calliope: around....around....until the truck began to come into view again. For an instant...." I t...
by Toni Star
Mon Jan 25, 2010 1:51 pm
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Jan's New "Class"--Writing Basics
Replies: 115
Views: 64911

Salsa words...

Hi Jan,

Yes, the salsa words, at least in my mind, are tiny, winked, tall and full. Maybe not the best examples of salsa but the words gave me a distinct feeling that something awful could be coming...It really gave me a descriptive atmosphere of doom.

Toni
by Toni Star
Mon Jan 25, 2010 8:05 am
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Jan's New "Class"--Writing Basics
Replies: 115
Views: 64911

Thank you for this class!

Thank you, Jan for this class! This topic is so helpful for me for like some, I often look for ways to be more descriptive, more...as you said, "salsa" like... I take my passage of salsa type words from James Patterson's "7th Heaven". "Tiny lights winked on the Douglas fir standing tall and full in ...
by Toni Star
Tue Oct 20, 2009 11:35 am
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Jan's Master Class--Quatrain
Replies: 55
Views: 34797

Yes, good point...

Yes, that's a good point. Will see what I can do..Will try again later..

Toni
by Toni Star
Mon Oct 19, 2009 6:27 am
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Jan's Master Class--Quatrain
Replies: 55
Views: 34797

Giving it a try...

Want to give the quatrain a try...

Autumn leaves

Autumn leaves move swiftly through the air,
Their beauty lying silent on damp ground.
And there they lay, exposed and bare..
Just waiting, it seems, to be found..

Toni
by Toni Star
Sun Oct 11, 2009 3:05 pm
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Jan's Poetry Class: Haiku
Replies: 110
Views: 50687

Thank you....

Thanks, Jan...This is fun and I'm learning more about poetry and its different forms. I'm also learning another way to express myself in writing..

Toni
by Toni Star
Sun Oct 11, 2009 2:54 pm
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Jan's Poetry Class: Haiku
Replies: 110
Views: 50687

Trying again...

Maybe this?


Camelot dreams
Glory that was mislaid
Transform autumn evenings
by Toni Star
Sun Oct 11, 2009 2:38 pm
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Jan's Poetry Class: Haiku
Replies: 110
Views: 50687

Wanted to try...

Jan,

Following your guidelines for haiku...wanted to give this a try...

The beauty of Camelot I will never forget
Dreams of glory, too good to be true
Haunt my autumn evenings with tears of sadness..

Toni
by Toni Star
Tue Jul 14, 2009 2:10 pm
Forum: Open Forum - General Writing Discussion
Topic: The Procrastinator's Patch Forum
Replies: 31
Views: 30944

For right now, I belong here!

Hi Everyone--especially Kathryn, I know where you're coming from because I'm there quite often. Like you, I have many ideas in my mind but sometimes I just can't get them on paper. I think in some cases, maybe yours, the fear of success might be stopping you. It has with me at times and after I get ...
by Toni Star
Sat Jul 11, 2009 7:36 am
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: atmosphere
Replies: 7
Views: 7812

Many thanks!

I wanted to thank you again for your reply on "PM Messenger" and for deleting my email address.

Much appreciated! And again, many thanks for sending the Forum information on "suspense."

Toni
by Toni Star
Fri Jul 10, 2009 6:30 pm
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: atmosphere
Replies: 7
Views: 7812

Thank you..

Hi Jan,

I don't have PM but if you like you can email the lesson to me at: [edited by mod to remove e-mail addy]

Thanks a bunch, for that would help so much...

Toni

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