Search found 34 matches

by Athayde
Thu Aug 03, 2017 2:55 am
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Be a Better Writer--ANACHRONISM
Replies: 6
Views: 4627

Re: Be a Better Writer--ANACHRONISM

Hi, Jan. I have a comment... I'm working on a futuristic pre-tribulation story outline with its time frame starting in the year 2036. I'm doing a lot of research to catch up with the speeding of nowadays scientific and technological advancements. However, most of my fictional pre-dystopian world is ...
by Athayde
Wed Aug 02, 2017 11:45 pm
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Be A Better Writer--ALLUSION
Replies: 32
Views: 17349

Re: Be A Better Writer--ALLUSION

I love this book. I wish I had the time to read it again, just for the beauty of the style.

I looked down to the deep valley and felt like Heidi, high up in the Swiss Alps.

Thanks.
by Athayde
Wed Aug 02, 2017 11:01 pm
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Be a Better Writer--ONOMATOPOEIA
Replies: 8
Views: 6148

Re: Be a Better Writer--ONOMATOPOEIA

Here I go:

A mighty lion's roar echoed across the jungle.

Woof, woof. The puppy ran towards Michele.

"Woof, woof," the puppy ran towards Michele. (?)

Thanks.
by Athayde
Wed Aug 02, 2017 3:29 am
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Be a Better Writer--ALLITERATION
Replies: 32
Views: 18005

Re: Be a Better Writer--ALLITERATION

Hi, Jan. I don't write poems, but I've wrote this one just to do not fail at the Challenge--Beat Around The Bush. I fixed it a little to bring it here :roll:. I do have some Alliteration in it to contribute to the class. Deadline The whistling winds shivering at the windows, like faraway waves knead...
by Athayde
Wed Aug 02, 2017 2:24 am
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Be a Better Writer--THE FINAL JUDGING CRITERION
Replies: 8
Views: 5194

Re: Be a Better Writer--THE FINAL JUDGING CRITERION

I'll write it again, Jan:

A piece has publishing potential if people will want to read it. After all, isn't it what really matters? :D

Blessings.
by Athayde
Tue Aug 01, 2017 4:32 pm
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Jan's Master Class--SETTING
Replies: 26
Views: 21638

Re: Jan's Master Class--SETTING

Oh, Jan, what an important remark you've just made! Elegant! Dr. Philip Dodd strode through the stormy and dark night, and crossed the snowy parking lot towards the Market's main entrance. When he was about to reach the door, an old homeless man approached him. The old man wore a ragged, dirty cloak...
by Athayde
Tue Aug 01, 2017 1:50 am
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Jan's Master Class--SETTING
Replies: 26
Views: 21638

Re: Jan's Master Class--SETTING

Hi, Jan, here is my shot: 3- a homeless man 5- a doctor 2- the mall or market 4- one dark and stormy night 5- a shoe It was a dark and stormy night. Dr. Philip Dodd strode across the snowy parking lot towards the Market's main entrance. When he was about to reach the door, an old homeless man approa...
by Athayde
Mon Jul 31, 2017 11:31 pm
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Be a Better Writer--SENTENCE STRUCTURES (THE END)
Replies: 16
Views: 11778

Re: Be a Better Writer--SENTENCE STRUCTURES (THE END)

The link you've provided will suit me well, Jan, since I'm not planning to go for more than I need, and distract myself with anything but the Art of Writing, which seems to be the one you're also enthralled with, and it brings me to the realization that I'm much obliged to say that you've helped me ...
by Athayde
Mon Jul 31, 2017 4:20 pm
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Be a Better Writer--SENTENCE STRUCTURES (THE END)
Replies: 16
Views: 11778

Re: Be a Better Writer--SENTENCE STRUCTURES (THE END)

Wow! Jan, look what I found in my article Receive : Total Sentences: 49 Simple Sentence: 31 (!) Compound Sentence: 7 Complex Sentence: 9 Compound-Complex Sentence: 2 (!) The most interesting thing: Out of the 31 simple sentences, 19 were simple sentences with compound verbs. Ex.: She stopped, looked...
by Athayde
Sun Jul 30, 2017 1:49 am
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Be a Better Writer--SIMPLE SENTENCES
Replies: 40
Views: 21716

Re: Be a Better Writer--SIMPLE SENTENCES

Hi, Jan, here's my chosen simple sentence (in italics): He stretched his arm and tapped her front. "Receive, receive," he shouted. Belauca threw herself backward and left it go... There was no one to catch her... This article, Receive, has fifty sentences, only sixteen are simple sentences. I think ...
by Athayde
Sat Jul 29, 2017 10:25 pm
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Jan's New Writing Lessons--TIGHT WRITING
Replies: 102
Views: 58605

Re: Jan's New Writing Lessons--TIGHT WRITING

Here's my correction, Jan:

She panicked... lost her breath, and choked.

The man gaped at her--and with a soft voice--said, "Are you alright Ma'am? Do you wanna hold my hand?

Thank you so much for this lesson. God bless you.

(no need to reply)
by Athayde
Sat Jul 29, 2017 2:44 pm
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Jan's New Writing Lessons--TIGHT WRITING
Replies: 102
Views: 58605

Re: Jan's New Writing Lessons--TIGHT WRITING

Correcting: The discussion over your article, Sacrament, is in the Sentence Structures (The End) class that I'm studying now.
by Athayde
Sat Jul 29, 2017 2:33 pm
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Jan's New Writing Lessons--TIGHT WRITING
Replies: 102
Views: 58605

Re: Jan's New Writing Lessons--TIGHT WRITING

Jan, I just loved this daring lesson! Here's my second try: Doreen didn't stop reading her book while the subway clacked through the stations. She shouldered the window and moved her thigh away from the big and blue-jeaned man sitting at her side. This man is too close to me... Before Doreen's stopp...
by Athayde
Fri Jul 28, 2017 11:27 pm
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Jan's New Writing Lessons--TIGHT WRITING
Replies: 102
Views: 58605

Re: Jan's New Writing Lessons--TIGHT WRITING

Hi, Jan! After some shortcuts, I'm back :D Here is my attempt on this one. I tightened it to 76 words, but I'm not sure if it worked: Doreen stuck to her book while the train clacked through the stations. She shouldered the window and moved her thigh from the big man sitting at her side. This man is...
by Athayde
Fri Jul 07, 2017 2:21 pm
Forum: Jan's Writing Basics
Topic: Be A Better Writer--THE MAGIC ENDING
Replies: 57
Views: 29017

Re: Be A Better Writer--THE MAGIC ENDING

Jan, I loved how you worked out the ending of your original story. You did provided a

new "baby" to Maggie, and great solace to her mom. I didn't expect that. Ingenious! :D


Thanks for this lesson.

Go to advanced search