ENDURING PAIN AND SEEING AHEAD
I love happy endings and believe in bountiful blessings. I also believe that God has a significant plan for your life no matter what situation you are in.
I have a story to tell and it is one story that has made a great impact in my life. If I had not endured this, I would not be what I am today. I wouldn’t have viewed life this way, if I had not undergone this episode in my life. So here is my story.
Seven years ago, I gave birth to a healthy baby boy. It was wonderful being a mother for the first time and I was so excited to have a wonderful son. It was also sad that I did not have a husband to share my joy with.
My son grew up with me alone and each day was a dream come true with him. He was my world, the reason why I lived for and he brought me so much happiness. Aside from that he was special and adored by many. I was blessed with a sweet and intelligent boy who grew up to be so kind, considerate and helpful. As a single parent, you try to make up for the absence of the father and do the very best you can. I was both his father and mother.
For five years it was a rough journey for me, since I was working hard to make both ends meet. I was so besieged with bills to pay and though I had a good job, I could barely make ends meet. I lived each day hand to mouth worrying where our next meal will come from.
Countless times I would cry to the Lord “Is this how my life is going to be?” “Is there an end to all this suffering?” I needed to be strong for my son and I had to keep a mindset of doing the most of my potential. There were various times that I felt like a headless chicken driven to do all I can.
Aside from my job, I did a lot of other things like doing retail on the side to render more money. I was broke, burnt-out, stressed and anxious all the time. I also suffered from panic attacks because of all the uncertainty in my life.
That wasn’t all. One fateful day, I lost my job because the company closed down. Though I received a separation package, it would only last for a couple of months. I became frantic and scared for the future was so bleak for me.
Here I was a single mom with no job and no money to support my son and I. “What was I to do? Where was I to go?”
I eventually found another job which was not as gratifying as the first one, but as they say “beggars can’t be choosers”. Though it was a miserable, it paid the bills and it gave me security. This made me breathe for awhile though it was still not enough.
Two months later, just when I felt comfortable in this job, I was laid-off due to budget cuts. I cried, “Where is my life heading?” I confessed to God that I was about to give up because I could not take it anymore, I was falling apart emotionally, financially and even mentally. How can I think straight when all I see is darkness?
So here I was back again to no money, no job and a great responsibility. I lived in the Philippines wherein we do not have the benefits of unemployment upon losing a job. It was also very difficult to find a good paying job for competition was very tough.
I sat all day in silence and wondered how this could be happening to me. I had worked so hard all these years and lived on bright hopes of a better tomorrow. Those hopes were starting to fade and my dreams were shattered. I had lost everything and had nothing to offer my son.
Days passed and all I did was weep and did my search of another job. A couple of months passed and not a job was there to be found. Bills were piling up and my anxiety was also rising. It was a very difficult situation to bear.
Until one day, a thought hit me, I realized it had been 5 years since my son was born and though I never earned enough all these years, never did God make us go hungry. There was never a bill left unpaid. We had all the basic things of clothes to wear, a roof above our head and food to eat.
I realized that God had always provided all what we needed people like when family would help at times, or when I closed some business deals or from unexpected gifts. My blessings did not just come from the job I had but from the Father above for as the Bible says “He is the supply of all our needs”.
I made a decision that I was going to put my faith in God for He has His own economy and the capacity to bless you in any way He can. Right when I thought it was the end for me, it was only the beginning for God to bless me.
My story does not end yet here, it gets even better. My mom had been inviting me and my son to come to San Francisco for a few months now. I deliberately needed a good vacation from this bumpy journey I was going through. I prayed to God to take care of me and that I may find some meaning in my life. Little did I know that this trip would be the turning point of my life.
When I was all alone raising my son, I had been praying for God to send me the right person. One who will love me for who I am and will love my son like his very own. This had been my prayer for 5 years and in the heart of all the turmoil, I had never met the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I sometimes considered that God had forgotten about me.
We came to San Francisco all excited to see my mom and also to visit some friends and relatives. Two days after we arrived, we went to a party at a friend’s house. Lo and behold there I was captivated by cupid. Though how corny it may sound, it was indeed love at first sight. It was such a strong feeling with an atmosphere of gentleness. It was so intense that even my son was so drawn to him. We got to know each other and as months went by I realized that this was the man God sent.
He was everything I had prayed about and had all the qualities I have ever wanted in a man. He accepted my son as his own and showed sincere love from the very beginning. All of a sudden, everything in my life started to fall into place, piece by piece like a puzzle. Both my son and I were so filled with bliss for all was so naturally like a part of Gods plan. I never even had to explain to my son that he had found a father because he already knew and immediately called him “Dada”.
As months passed by the best day of our lives came. We have been married for two years and though our marriage is not perfect, we are now a family that is strong under the foundation of Jesus in our lives. It is a family I have craved for all these years. I am confident that my husband will stand-by us no matter what and I believe that we were a match made in heaven. He is my ultimate companion and the best father my son can ever have. I am now fulfilling my long time dream of being a writer. I have been blessed in all areas of my life and the blessings continue to come.
I look back at all the pain I endured, all the obstacles, I encountered and I said it was worth the wait. If I had not come across all this hardships then, I would have never appreciated the blessing God had provided me now. God has is always perfect in His timing. He wants the best for us.
God was with me all the time. He heard all my cries, saw all my efforts and gave me the patience and determination to never give up and focus on Him. God showed me the beauty of His undying grace. He said, “You may have given up on yourself, but I haven’t given up on you.” God turned my life around for the best in His own perfect time and at the most unexpected moment. He will do that if you trust Him and are willing to go through the fire with Him.
Life is a never ending journey of trials and joys. There will be tears, frustrations and lots of hard work. Endurance requires patience, fortitude, hope and faith and most of all trusting that God that will provide in any situation you are in. God can change your season as long as you are willing to go through the fire with Him.