I prayed, one day, a pretty selfish prayer. I was letting God know what the desires of my heart were... or so I thought. Sadly enough, I was at peace in doing so. But something happened that night that would change my prayer life forever.
I woke up in the middle of the night. Or, at least, I thought I was awake. I felt as though I could put my hand all the way through my face.
I laid in a circle on a crystal floor and was surrounded by very, very bright light. The floor looked like glass but must have went on forever because I couldn't see through the bottom of it.
All around me, outside that circle, was pitch black. Yes, I know what weeping and gnashing of teeth sounds like. It was out there, in the darkness.
The King of Kings stood before me in a long, spotless robe, His hands stretched out to show wounds. He looked to the floor on His right at a crystal alter that looked like it was coming up out of the floor.
Motioning with His face to the alter, He asked me rather matter-of-factly, "What do you want?" The sound of weeping and gnashing of teeth intensified. There went my peace, out the window... right along with my heart's desires.
I wasn't afraid. But, I was stilled with awe and reverence. I knew that anything outside of Him was also outside that circle.
"I don't want anything except what's right in front of me."
I don't know how to describe it to the general public except to say that I immediately woke up. I believe that anyone who has had a similar experience would say that this "waking up" feeling was me going from spirit back to flesh. But a carnal mind would only recognize this as a dream.
A few months later, God sent me on a very difficult mission. He gave me opportunities to back out. The trial was terrible. The persecution was even worse. But I accomplished what I set out to do by following His instruction without wavering.
The day after it was all over with, I, for some reason, felt the need to humble myself on my knees. This time, I was wide awake. It was no dream.
I didn't see anything or feel anything unusual. But I heard Him ask me clearly and not so matter-of-factly, "What do you want?" I don't think He was going to give me a stone. I had the distinct feeling He was offering me a fish and asking me how I wanted it cooked!
What I've learned from all this:
1. He is, and should remain, top priority when it comes to my desires.
2. If anything is outside His will for me, I don't want it. There's no peace outside His will.
3. Expect the unexpected. He's real.
4. If He sends you to do something, He'll provide you with every tool you need in order to accomplish the task.
5. He IS the Good Father who would not give me a stone when I ask for a fish.
6. And most importantly, He loves me more than enough to set me straight.