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Previous Challenge Entry
Topic: Failure (03/01/04)

TITLE: Fixing the Power Failure
By Linda Germain


*Ring, Ring

Son - This is Sol on the cell…

Father -Hello son, zat you?

Son -Well, hi Pop, this IS a surprise!

Father –You sed I cud call ya out yonder in Hollywood on this little bitty telly phone anytime I wuz a mind to.
Me ‘n yer maw shur got excited when we found out we wuz gitten hooked up to sum ‘letricity way back here in the country. Whut Ah wuz callin fer is to say thank ya fer that purty blue lamp ‘n stuff thet ya sent to us.

Son - Tell Momma I have plenty of money and the two of you can have anything you can think of.

Father - Well, Son, it ain’t reely turned out so good. Me ‘n yer maw keeps a wait’n fer some lites to kum on, but nuthin’s happened. That toaster ain’t so hot neither.
Ah believe we dun jest fine with our Kero-sene lamps and farr- place…so ya kin send thet big ole truck back to git thet hot water barrel and the cookin’ stove and the raddio and telly-vishun set and the blanket and winder fan and floor cleanin’ thang. Also, Maw’s a little skeert of that funny looking toothbrush…and we ain’t TOO shur what a crockpot’s fer.

Son - I’m afraid I don’t understand. I thought since you’ve never had any of those conveniences it would be fun, now that you have POWER.

Father - (Exasperated) But ah’m a telling ya sonny, they jest SITS thar, they don’t DO nothing!

Son - Uh, Dad, did you plug them in?

Father - WHUT??

Son - Remember, an electrician came out and wired the old house so you’d be able to hook up when the county finished installing the power poles? There are little receptacles in each room .You just plug in the cord of the appliance.

Father - Is thet so? Well, I’ll be a pig in a snowstorm, how’d ya git so smart? Ok, Junior, Ah guess we kin try thet. Maw wuz kinda looking forwart ta usin’ thet big ole warshin’ tub with a lid. Of course, we wuz reel happy when ya had the plumbing put indoors, but she wadn’t wantin’ to mess up thet nice bath tub with the dirty clothes.

Son - Let me know how it goes. Give Momma my love. Call anytime. I’m always here.

( Some days Later)

*Ring, Ring

Son – Sollie here

Father - Hey son, it’s yer Paw agin

Son - How’s it going Pop? Did you figure out the power failure problem?

Father - (Excited) Ah tell ya the gospel truth, we plugged thet blue lamp into the power, like ya said, and at LAST we seen the lite!! Maw is jest beside herself. Why, I ain’t never BEEN so clean nor et sech good vittles from the cookin’ stove.

Son - *chuckling in appreciation

Father - We even dun us a little two-steppin’ round the kitchen lisnin’ to the raddio. Did you know ya kin hear the farm report iff’n ya don’t sleep in til 6 like sum folks do? We feel lak we wuz born all over agin!

Son -That sounds terrifc, Dad. It does my heart good to know I can share some of this wealth with you.

Father - We’re a’gonna have us a Shindig to show the neighbors the lite! It’s powerful what all ya kin do when ya kin see better.
One thang though, ole Bessie don’t seem to wanna kum on back ta tha barn since I tried to use thet new milkin’ machine. I ain’t shur thet she don’t wanna STAY in the dark! Hee Hee!

Well, son, me n’ Maw shur love ya and ‘preciate ya showing us the way ta git a hold of thet power stuff. We felt purty silly findin’ out it’s been there in the house fer weeks and all we had to do wuz plug into it. We wuz thinkin’ it wuz jest one big FAILURE, but boy howdy, we kin see now!

Son - I love you too, Pop. Just remember, I want you and Momma to have your heart’s desires.

Father - Bye, son… We’ll be a waitin’ for your return. Look fer a lite on in the winder!

Psalm 119:105 Your word is a LAMP unto my feet and a LIGHT unto my path
Hebrews 4:12 For the WORD of God is living and POWERFUL and sharper than any two-edged sword...

Member Comments
Member Date
Corinne Smelker 03/08/04
This was a funny way to actually teach a lesson - I loved it! Well written, I liked the use of the vernacular.
Dave Wagner03/09/04
Ahh, I see you working. I was scratching my head a bit, until I saw the scripture references at the end. Now it makes sense.

I enjoyed the dialog a lot. It was like decifering code! What fun.

>> Me ‘n yer maw...

That's a crackup. I laugh every time I read it. Funny that 9 letters could get such a consistent chuckle outta me!

>> ...and we ain’t TOO shur what a crockpot’s fer. <<

That's great too. Great lines and touches througout the piece. Nice.
Mary Elder-Criss03/10/04
Pretty funny stuff. I enjoyed reading something light-hearted in the "Failure" topic.
Good job.
Linda Germain 03/10/04
small author comment: There are some folks here in the mountains of East Tennessee who actually talk "lak thet." I am not making fun, HONEST!:0) Also,way back further in the sticks there are a few no-electricity homes.Isn't it delicious that we don't all sound the same?
Lynne Cox03/12/04
Teehee, I loved this! Got my morning laugh from it. I would call this superb writing.
Donna Anderson03/13/04
This is way too funny! My Mamaw and Papaw lived in Beaver Dam Ky. and didn't have indoor plumbing until the late 70's. The first time I met my Mamaw she was making buttermilk bisquits with one hand and rollin her 'own' with the other! Thanks for bringing back the memories. :)